One thing I feel sad about right now is....

I'm not being everything I should be if I was doing what I need to do...

One thing I feel sad about is I don't know what to do in my relationship...

I am in an 8-year relationship with my boyfriend. Almost 2 years being together and 6 years in a long distance relationship (on and off because of my job location). We see each other either yearly or bi-yearly. We often had problems regarding communication because he tends to spend more time with his friends, hanging out with them/ drinking, and with his sports than spending his time with me. I could understand because I am not physically present with him, so I tried meeting halfway with him just to save the relationship. I know hes trying his best and so do I. I accepted that fact already because I love him.But things get hard these days. He hears me complaining but I dont know if he listens. I dont know if this love that I have for him is getting conditional since I felt that I am already demanding to include me in his time. Does somebody deserve this kind of treatment? I dont know if I should get disappointment or i am juts too demanding. All I know is, it hurts.

One thing I feel sad about right now is that I don't know where my heart is...is it with my husband of four years who up until the last several months wants to finally be the man that I want and deserve or is my heart with the freedom and independence of being alone with my son???

Not knowing what direction my life is going. The uncertainty really scared me.

My life situation I wish I could be better off but I also know it could be worse

I feel really sad that I had to leave my cats. My cats were my babies and my friends and my angels. They cuddled me and comforted me, They helped me to speak when I stopped speaking even, during some of my most difficult times. I feel guilty for leaving them, but I did not have a choice...like most everything in my life. I really miss my babies! That makes me incredibly sad! I would rather have my cats than people most of the time!

I'd found someone that was interested in being a long term listener but I don't know how to find my previous post and replies and I don't know how to even contact the person on this site. I can't even remember what forum thread I was on. I've been kind of upset about that for the past few days. :(

how I look.

Everything about myself. I make no sense. I can never meet society's expectations of me. I can never have a body like those girls in the pictures. My body is weird looking. My body is one of the reasons I don't feel the right to call myself female anymore. I always joke about being male and have a "you know what" but, deep down I feel like it would be easier. I definitely don't act like them, or the rest of society. I am highly sensitive and introverted and, the rest of society views both of those traits as a problem or a weakness. Yea, I know I'm weak and, I'm sorry that I exist and, I'm not your definition of perfect. I believe in God and, so many people call me delusional because I believe in a so-called "fairytale". I'm just scared. Scared to live. Scared to love. Scared to do anything because of the fear of abandonment and, the fear of being judged. I'm different and, I can't change it. I'm sorry.