One thing I feel sad about right now is....
Despite our reconnection and my effort to stay present, my husband is still taking the job in Harrisburg, why am i not worth fighting for ?
Plan B failed and I
I
My life in general. I wish I could be happy and highly successful. I wish I had friends—mature, kind hearted ones who I could depend on. I wish I had a fulfilling relationship. And a better job. Overall I
My cat who was my best friend and the one thing I could always go to when I was feeling depressed or anxious passed away suddenly. Now I'm distraught and I can no longer go to him for support. It happened a month ago but, it feels like it happened 3 days ago. I miss him so much and I am physically and emotionally exhausted. I am in the "anger stage" of the grieving process and I am lashing out at my friends and family who only want to help me, now they are keeping their distance and I feel like I have nowhere to turn. I haven't told very many people about his passing, I talked about him a lot so now everyone always asks how he is doing and it's like being punched in the stomach everytime I have to explain to another person what happened. I don't want to talk to anyone because I don't want to sit through more of the same automated responses from people who don't know what to say or do when I tell them that he is gone. I feel like puking every morning when I remember that he's gone.
@peacefulkilljoy I'm so sorry to read this. :( I lost my kitty last fall and I was hysterical. I found often times people won't understand. (Even dog people.) They don't understand you just lost a very important figure and support in your life. All I can really say is take care of yourself and remember this is a normal response to lose someone that played a big role in your life. Allow yourself to feel all your emotions. They'll become less intense eventually, but they'll still come in waves (in my experience anyway). Also, try to think of things that can honour his life. For me, it was stopping to smell the flowers. My cat would sometimes run outside (he was an indoor cat and I always freaked out if he got out!) but the instead of running far off, he'd run to the flower garden and just sit there smelling every flower. He really enjoyed the flowers and I get a bad wave of guilt that I didn't take him out more. :( So I try to notice and smell flowers wherever I come across some in the course of my day. It helps with the days stresses to slow down and smell a flower, but it also honours him when I take that moment of my day to slow down and notice something beautiful. Be kind to yourself! *hugs*
@peacefulkilljoy I know it's hard to think about, but consider getting another pet. I went through that when I lost my beloved dog. It took me a few months, but I did eventually rescue another dog, and I'm glad I did. One pet can never replace another, they have so much personality to call their own. But the love they give and you feel in return is the same.
My husbands job isn't working out right now. He's spent 15 years in that particular line of work. He has a work related injury that is preventing him from staying in that line of work any longer. He has no relevant job experience outside of that field. They have him on lite duty right now. He's stressed, and he vents to me. But everything's starting build up and I'm getting depressed. I'm taking care of most of our bills, which is cool, but I cannot afford to take on his too. He knows this, and thats why he keeps on working until he finds else. He feels bad that he can't help more with bills. So he chooses to do most of the cleaning at home. He and I are both stuck in rut. But we still have each other.
My life is going nowhere. It's been going nowhere my whole life. I never felt a part of anything, like I belonged anywhere. I see everyone out there living their fufilled lives, who don't appreciate what they really have. I live in a place like that, where people are vain and exlusionary. Everything in my life just comes together for me not to have anything to look forward to. It's hard for me to get a job around here, and my dad doesn't want to do anything to move up. My mom is always complaining about this, and she makes me feel guilty when I just can't take listening to it anymore. It's hard to believe in anything in life anymore when everything in your life just isn't working out.
My family. I wish I had better parents. My brother and I turned out okay despite all the hurdles we have to jump through to get to where we are. But my mother is overly harsh, becoming cold and bitter because of my father. They stay married but not divorced. I do not have a relationship with my father. And now the one I had with my mother whom I used to call my best friend is fading fast. Lately a misunderstanding has completely broken our relationship, she refuses to speak to me and I fear our relationship will never be the same again. She has said nasty things to me I cant forget nor forgive and has made me feel unwanted and unloved. I feel like a failure when it comes to her.
@Nimnerb I really feel you on that! I also have a mother that makes me feel less and I been anxious for our relationship to end. This fear made me accept so much damage. I just decided to walk away from the need to make it OK and have her words effecting me. Our Moms would do better if they could but if you realize their best is not good for you its OK to step away
@Annica11 Thank you for replying. Reading here and elsewhere online has made me realise that a lot of people face the same problems as we do. Its hard not to have her words affect me, and i find it always difficult to say no and walk away/turn my back since shes my mother and theres no one else. Im just trying to find a balance and it comforts me to know im not the only one.
I will never know what it is like to have a loving father who texts, calls and who does not abuse his daughter but my sister does and has no clue what a gift that is
One thing I feel sad about right now is being lonely.
@stacy46
I feel you.
@stacy46 yes it's like there is an empte space
