Stray cat effect
While suffering through depression this semester, I have realized something huge. �If people try to force help upon you, it will not work. �I call it "the stray cat effect", as a stray cat will come and go as it pleases. �There is no "owner", (even if there was, cats just do what they want), no true obligation to anyone or thing but yourself. �However, if someone offers help for you to grab at any time you choose, then it will be extremely helpful. �So if there is a person leaving food out for a stray cat, the cat can choose whether or not to eat the food. �Usually, if it is that way, the cat will more likely go and eat it since it isn't forced upon the stray. �The stray also has more of an opportunity to go more places (even if it doesn't seem like it, they are there), thus more likely to find some sort of help than some one who is trapped. �A stray cat will also trust you more this way as well and may eventually be able to become part of your home.
This has been helpful for me. �I have had to sort of "claw" at a person at my university because he was forcing help upon me when I didn't wish for it. �Others who know of my situation have offered to help and support me when they can, but of course give me the options as well. �It isn't forced. �That is what people need to understand. �Force will do no good, even if the intentions are good. �
Hopefully this makes sense for many of you, whether you are learning about depression, or an
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This made complete sense to me. I agree with you!
I'm glad it made sense to you :D
It makes perfect sense. That's definitely me. I hate it when people force help on me, and try to make me 'fix myself' in whatever way they decide is best. But if someone offers and leaves it up to me to decide, I'll take them up on it.
More people need to understand this.
To me, the key of this isn't just to let the person decide IF they want the help, but also WHEN they want it. It's hard to heal before you're ready, but an open offer for whenever can mean so much more.
I agree, it's hard to heal when you aren't quite ready. It may sound silly to people, but it does make sense.
I can relate to this a lot. I don't like people forcing me to get help, because it's not generally the type of help I'm looking for. I like going at my own pace. I like helping myself in a way I can be comfortable with it.
that's how it should be, at your own pace and comfortable