Struggling to cope
So I'm struggling to cope with my mental health at the moment, quite a bit more than usual.
Like those times where you don't feel like getting out bed, going to work doing anything with the kids (i still force myself to spend time with my kids, they don't deserve to suffer because in not feeling 100%) tidying the house etc.
There has been several occasions where I would feel down for absolutely no reason over the years. I would dance, make a pizza (something about kneading the dough seems to calm me) go for a walk, workout, draw..
But these last few weeks, nothing is working . what do you do when the reason you feel like this, is because of a parent?
I've always had a weird relationship with my dad, but I can't take it anymore. Nothing i do is good enough. Everything i do is the wrong thing. He will full on scream at me and smash his house up when things don't go his way - or even at the slightest inconvenience.
He is already on thin ice with social work due to their concerns of his behavior while he's the carer of my disabled brother.
I cant keep living in fear worrying about how my dad will react to everything that happens.
I love him so much because hes my dad so I cant just cut him off. But I've come to realize, the love is only there because he's my dad. If he was some random, I'd likely have had him either committed or arrested long long ago.
I get nothing in return. No thanks for my help. Only an obligatory apology before he asks for my help again.
I cant live like this. My in-laws are so supportive of me, but my blood family won't listen when I beg for help with my dad.
Help???
@purpleShade2715
I understand how difficult it can be to be around your dad, you can love people from a distance too you know?
Boundaries are very important with certain people whom we we cannot tolerate much as they affect our mental health but also cannot cut off completely because we love them, there comes boundaries, loving people from a distance by growing a fencing around yourself so you don't get as affected with their actions as before
Sharing some useful articles about boundary setting and self compassion, you deserve to feel better for yourself and your family ❤️
https://www.livestrong.com/article/13767188-setting-boundaries-with-parents/
https://thenarcissisticlife.com/setting-boundaries-with-toxic-parents/
https://positivepsychology.com/self-compassion-exercises-worksheets/
@purpleShade2715
Hi, thank you for sharing. When our struggles are a direct result of someone who has such an important role in our lives, such as a parent, it becomes incredibly hard to set boundaries and look beyond their place in our lives. It’s amazing that you acknowledge that as well, how you only put up with this treatment because he is your dad. Having that knowledge is the best way to make a step forward in terms of healing.