This has to be what its like

My family has a long history of mental illnesses. Depression being the main. Both of my mom's brothers are depressed to a stage I've never seen any one in. Both being very suicidal, my mom cares for them. I've always thought about them, and wondered how they got there. Things had to have been okay at one time, right? When did it get so out of control? So many questions. As for me, I've always had anxiety. I remember being a very nervous child, and I carried that constant nervousness and worry through high school. Until finally learning what it was. I've coped with it. No meds, just remembering to breathe and think of something positive, maybe find some sort of distraction. That has managed to get me through until now. I'm 5 years out of high school, still somewhat fresh to the real world. I should be living, and going out with my friends. Making memories in crazy places. Instead, you know what I do? I wake up every morning, irritated and still so exhausted. I lay in my bed for 20 mins or so, seriously considering calling in sick. I eventually force myself out of bed, and go through the motions of getting ready. Then, go through my work day pretending to care about meaningless conversations, and sometimes slipping to the bathroom or my office for a moment to breathe or cry. After work, I go home and get in bed. I'll screen my calls, and avoid doing anything productive. Seriously, dishes and laundry barely get done anymore. When I finally do them, I feel drained. I keep convincing myself im just acting like a lazy hermit, but I can't find it in myself to make any changes. I told myself I was just sad, people get sad sometimes. But do they get this sad for this long? Is any of this normal? Or am I learning first hand how my uncles felt before they ultimately stopped trying?