Trying To Find Someone To Care, But No One Does....
I'm probably just repeating what others on the forum have said, but I don't have anywhere else to go. If I post on Facebook or Twitter that I'm depressed and need someone to talk to, no one is there for me. I'm there for others, but my friends can't seem to return the favor once in a while. I'm sure if I had a physical injury or had to have surgery or something everyone would be so sympathetic and willing to do something (which I doubt).
I could have a gun to my head, and my friends wouldn't give a damn. I could disappear without a trace and people wouldn't notice. I guess my problems aren't valid or I'm just an attention seeker or whatever.
My boss called me a little over two months ago to tell me that my job doesn't have the money to keep me on so now I'm "on call." I've been in once to work since then. I decided to take the time and finally open my Etsy shop. I've told people about it, spread the word, been told my stuff is cute, but haven't really sold anything. I'm trying to come up with other things to sell, but it's hard when people don't tell me what they're interested in. I have money to pay bills, and did a short temp job for two weeks, but the money won't last forever.
I've been looking for a job to get me through the holidays. I put in applications, went to an interview, but haven't heard anything yet. I called the one place I interviewed at but they just apologized for taking so long and said they'd call soon. Meanwhile, I go online and see all my friends happy and successful and going places and having everything thrown at them and I'm just.....gutter trash. I'm nothing. I went back to school to study what I love, and now I'm regretting that choice. I can't get a job in my field because my friends keep getting offered the available jobs. I don't mind working retail again, but I went back to school to get out of it and improve myself. I guess I can't be improved.
I don't know what to do anymore. All I want to do is lay in bed and not do anything. It's all I'm good at. I can't get anywhere in life, I can't get anyone to give a damn, I try and improve my life and I can't. I'd go back to school again but I don't know what to study. I'd probably fail at that too. It's all I am. A failure.
I'm tired of being told that things will look up, that "everything happens for a reason."
I'm a waste of space and probably shouldn't be around anymore. All I'm doing now is convincing myself why I shouldn't exist. It'd be better for everyone. Not like anyone will notice me gone.
Hey, you still there?
@crosschord I'm sad you're going through this career trouble and depression. I've been there, recently, and relate so much to your story and the thoughts you are having. I'm glad you reached out here, and I'd hope I could listen to you! Please send me a message if you'd like to vent further and talk about what you're going through, the challenges you faceand what your hopes have been.
Either way, I hope youhang in there.It sounds like you're being as resourceful as you can, with your temp work and entrepreneurship,considering the situation ? you are not a failure and this is not your fault. I know you're tired, but you deserve a real shot at success, and to have someone there for you at this difficult time. You'll be in my thoughts.
I can really feel your stress and frustration. First of all if your friends didn't notice if you disappeared then you need a new set of friends. You deserve love and support during this time just as much as anyone else would.
i too have regretted career choices at times and it's an awful feeling. I know it's hard to get up and keep trying when all seems hopeless, but I assure you, your job is out there. Mine was. It just takes time to find it.
if you want to chat please feel free to send me a message anytime. I am here for you and you don't have to do thus alone.
~Angel
You are totally not alone on this. You will make it through. I'm feeling distant from my friends but maybe if we take a second to realize the things we do have and can do, nothing is as bad as it seems.
I am so so so so feeling your pain! Its near unbelievable to know that more than just I or yourself can be forgotten so easily but are told we are good people. I personally don't know of anyone that is looked at as wonderful but everyone stays away when needed most while saying I'm a friend. How are we to believe its true? I guess they don't notice due to the fact that everyone is pawing all over them giving all the attention needed or maybe not? Just promise not to cause yourself harm, don't give them the satisfaction! Its YOUR LIFE... Be defiante about it! Let the wonderful you that you love stay around.
I went out and spent time with friends on Friday (Halloween) and had fun. Then the next day I felt like crap again.
My rescheduled phone interview for a job never happened again. The first time I didn't get a call, I called the place and they said they did call but no one answered. I never got a call, never missed a call. We rescheduled. Then I didn't get a call again and decided the job wasn't worth it.
All I want is a retail job for the holiday so I can make some money to get me through the next few months. I interviewed for one and thought my prospects were good, but never heard back (and yes, I did call to follow up but they said they said they were still checking other people's references and apologized for the delay). I've applied to other places. I have an interview tomorrow, but at this point I'm convinced that nothing is going to come of it.
I'm too old for this. I should be in a stable job living a stable life. Not living at home. I don't see the point in living any more. I'm tired of being told that everything will work out, that the universe has something better in store for me. People have been telling me that for years and it hasn't happened yet. Maybe the universe is telling me I should give up for good.
Hicrosschord,
I am laughing cause it seems that you are writing about me, you are un happy as I am but if I think I will see that I have it all, lot more than others have.
I do really believe it is same with you cause you describe me so well in your text.
Is it possible that you are a bit un patience cause I am. I am told that good thing comes slowly, I can not wait.
Sometimes it help us un patience people to see others how they are or how they live or just think about their health, if I do so I see I can not complain but something in me is so un patientthat it makes me un happy and down.
we all have our good nice things in life, but sometimes it is so difficult to be patient.
I believe you have plenty of positives things to give and teach others.
I believe we have to fast mind ADHD is it possible?
Sit down and send your self a letter, put in the letter what you will have in life and how or you can send it to me
I look forward to get it
Yeah, i agree with you, its either ADHD or BPD, i face some of these too, now i am broke and suddenly nobody misses me when i am not around, sometimes i intentionally refuse to update my social media status hoping someone would notice, but then, it all goes with the wind. i am still holding on hoping for a miracle, i can never give up, practicaly everything i am trying my hands on isnt working out well, yet when i sell out the idea i see it florishing. at a point i even resorted to drugs, it sorted the pain, but the emptiness never left and i had to quite. @Crosschord: believe in yourself, remind yourself that people arfe very selfish. Alot of times, people i stake out my neck for will for will never break a nail to see me smile. alot of times i feel stupid, i feel sad, i feel like a failure, i have sleepless nights and all, but the pain never goes away, sometimes i even cry like a baby, but i never stop believing that someday things will make a u-turn because i know this is not who i am, this is not what i am meant to be. So again i put it across to you, be a little patient with life despite you say people keep telling you that, means there is an iota of truth in it, we are in this together, many of us, despite we ar from different walks of life. try and redirect your energy to something more creative, something that makes you happy, try not comparing your life with friends around because if you look critically you will actually realize you might even have more potentials than them. try sticking around family (if any) or possibly get a girl friend or even a pet (dog). I ASSURE YOU, ALL WILL BE WELL, ALL YOU NEED IS TIME
