Unjudged and Caring Vent Space
Hello beautiful souls! <3
I realise it may be hard for you to vent completely here but it's important to realise - I care about YOU. I want to listen to YOU. I want to help YOU.
This thread is open to everyone. All I ask is that once you start typing you let your emotions take control and get it all out of your systems. Let all the sadness and loneliness escape through your fingertips and onto the thread.
In return I promise to be as helpful as I can, to respect you an your thoughts and to listen intently.
I do this because it pains me to see anyone else upset or down :(
I love you all! <3 -HUGS-
Mark AKA "Kleeshade"
I have no idea how I'm perceived by others, I only know how they react to me. As much as I'd hate to say it I seem to evoke the worst in people. In most situations I'm treated as the bad guy though my intentions are always for what's right. I'm a slave to my conscious, I value my sleep, I hate leaving unresolved issues on the table. I apologize when I'm wrong and I'll extreme an olive branch to those who've wronged me. I try to be a stand up guy, maybe I'm just an asshole though and don't even know it.
@Demus You sound like a really proactive and responsible person. :)
@VerdictEndgameOver
Not by choice, if it were up to me I'd rather be left alone. I do feel a responsibility, I hate the feeling but I'd rather hate the responsibility than hate myself for not doing what needs to be done.
I am so confused. I have so many emotions inside that are fighting against each other, making total chaos.
I feel so useless most of the time. A spare, taking up space. I feel like I'm good for nothing, that i drift. Nothing I ever do is good enough and it makes me so sad. I cry every day about soemthing that I can't do well enough. Or something that reminds me of how useless I am. I am not working. I have just begun school. And there I keep questioning everything. Am I going to be able to do this? Is this what I really want to do? Can I do anything?
My relationship induces so much worry and fear. I am worried I'm not good enough for him. My sex drive is lower than ever, and it scares me. I am worried that we don't spend enough time together. I'm worried we spend too much time together. He annoys me, makes me sad, drives me insane. And I love him so much it terrifies me. Everything is just a jumbled soup of emotions.
I just got diagnosed with ASD and ADHD and while it was a great relief to me in the beginning, it scares the shit out of me. It makes me question everything. It makes me wonder who the hell I am and where I am going. Will I ever function? Or will I forever be this broken mess who no one understands?
I feel alone. Scared. Confused. I thought I'd be able to write something here that expressed what I feel, but it really doesn't. The words are written, but still I feel like I've only touched a tip of the iceberg. I feel pitiful. Like I want all the attetion in the world, but when I get it I feel ashamed.
I feel like I'm in a bind. Nothing really does anything for me anymore. It's a chore just to start the day and a battle to appear ok to everyone. I can't trust anyone I know, so I lie to them every day and I hate myself any time I do lie, but it feels like I have no choice. I'm also starting to feel suicidal. I don't want to kill myself, but if I end up getting into a life threatening problem, I don't think I would care. Also, I have to fight of the urge for suicide almost daily. I am going to a therapist soon, but I need to vent right now. I just feel broken, useless, and defeated. I'm more of surviving now and it absolutely stinks.
