You can rant here
I know how it feels sometimes when you just want to rant, but don't know who to talk too or even if they will care. Well I care. You're not alone! Please feel free to say whats been on your mind lately, if you want someone to talk too or just want to rant away. I will listen.
What is the purpose of life ? Why some had to suffer from the day one of their life? That's not fair at all why psychopaths choose empaths to ruin them i just don't get it.
I hate it when therapists won't assess you simply because you self-diagnosed. Can't I just be wrong about something? If it turns out to be something else, that's fine. But whenever I bring up a concern, they don't bother ruling it out, despite how long I've been researching it. I don't just read a label and say, "that's me". I take time to compare it to other aspects about myself and see which one sounds more correct.
And in another rant, I wish people wouldn't keep ghosting me. Can you just tell me what it is I've done wrong? Sure, it's awkward. But the best part is, you don't have to be my friend. If you're leaving, you're leaving, but at least tell me what part of my personality you disliked the most. That way I can reflect and not make the same mistake twice.
@sparklyseaweed I'm sorry that's happening to you.
Don't change your personality for someone else though. If there's certain behaviors that really bother them (that you can avoid easily) that might be one thing. But if you're pretending to like something you don't, or are agreeing to things you're not comfortable with for approval that's not a good sign.
At that point they aren't respecting you, and that's probably not a friendship you want.
@BlueBetta
The thing is, they mean a lot to me, but they just leave. I'm always having to message first, otherwise I don't get any response. I haven't done anything wrong, but no matter what I'm always a last choice. Nobody ever thinks about me. If I weren't around, they wouldn't notice. And they don't notice. Right now I'm stuck in a place where I no longer know who's a friend and who isn't. Those who I thought liked me, were only using me. And it hurts. I just want to know what it is about my personality. Like, am I too boring? Did I not talk enough? Should I have left them alone?
Thanks for commenting by the way. It's nice being heard for once...
@sparklyseaweed I don't think it's you. I've heard that a lot of times when someone reacts badly, it's usually more about them than it is about you. They probably don't understand how much this is hurting you.
How they're treating you isn't your fault. Even if you did something that hurt them, they should be talking to you about it instead of ghosting.
Have you told them how much this is bothering you? They can't know unless you say something. Maybe they just don't have the energy to call first right now. You can't really know what's going on until they tell you.
@BlueBetta
I would understood if they never had the energy to call, but then you look online and see them hanging out with others. Plus they never message me first, ever. And I'm being serious, if they messaged me once for the first time in my life, it would've made things less painful.
I've tried confronting them about it, only to be told something false like "oh, I haven't got time". You haven't got time? No. No, we make time for our friends. And I'm not talking about chatting 24/7 as if we haven't got anything to do with ourselves, but just to message for once and be my friend, just like I hoped to be yours.
Even those I least expected to, end up leaving. And I'm not even sure what it is. I've asked, but I guess to others I'm just plain boring or I lack something that so many out there seem to have. I just have to face the truth, that some people just don't seem to have friends. That they just can't vibe properly, and it's just life.
I tell them after a while that it hurts, but it leads me nowhere. I know I can't force them to stay, so they just go. It never mattered at all...
I long for friends that I can make memories with, hang out with, those sorts of things that make life sweeter... but the thing is, I've tried to get people to hang out with me, and it goes two ways: either they're always too busy, or they never seem to invite me anywhere. Sure, I know I'm not entitled to anyone's time. But it hurts, when you think about people and offer to take them places, yet they never invite you.
Sorry for ranting. It just hurts.
@sparklyseaweed That us always really hard. If they're ignoring what you say like that, they probably aren't great for you to be around. It's really important for friends to be able to listen to each other.
Friend drama really hurts, and it's really damaging emotionally. Do you think you could meet some new people?
I have no desire to work. I have no motivation. I'm not happy. I just don't want to be in this job. But it is more terrifying to me to leave this job and find another one that I might dislike more. So, I am wasting time, not really working, but still getting paid. That's not my normal work ethic and it's bothering me.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
Everything hurts and at the same time I feel so numb. I want to give up but I know that I can't so I instead imagine all the grusome ways that I could go out. It's messed up but I somehow take comfort in it and that makes me feel like a freak. Like I'm just some pitiful, hopeless little creature constantly feeling sorry for myself.
I hate it. I want out but I can see no way out. I'm dysfunctional and it isnt fair to those around me.
@YouCanCallMeRose
You shouldn't try changing yourself to benefit others. If you find a way to help yourself, it should be for you. Getting better should be an act of kindness towards yourself, and not because you're fearing that others can't handle how dysfunctional you are. People who care would try to understand and give you time. We're not perfect and we all suffer from illness in our lives, whether that's mental or physical.
I'm sorry you spend time daydreaming about gruesome stuff. I end up doing the same thing to myself, just spend hours imagining how I could off myself in the most painful ways. It's just how we cope, despite how toxic it is for a well-being. When you're feeling like sh*t, you end up treating yourself like sh*t. It's common and it isn't your fault at all.
Know that you aren't a freak. The negativity inside of you is the only freak here, not you. It needs to get lost and leave you alone forever.
I just wanted to go back to my first comments, there's no such thing as getting better, and it doesn't make you bad for not making a complete recovery like some out there expect you to do. Those people are just plain ignorant. Recovery is like a bumpy road, some ditches are deeper than others. But doing small things to make yourself feel better, you know? That sort of stuff, like self-love or just trying to pick yourself back up. That shouldn't be done for anyone's sake, but your own.
Ugh, I feel so left out tbh. Everyone around is happy with their jobs and hobbies, is getting married to their beloved ones and heres me, doing the same lame shit I did years ago.
I hate my job, I hate my parents, I hate everything I do, I hate myself in the end. It seems everyone around me does so too.
@wonder1and There's nothing wrong with doing things you're comfortable with. Don't hate yourself over it. Everyone does things at different speeds. It's okay to go at your own pace. Life isn't a competition.
If you're tired of what you're doing, you can always try other things too. Like a new hobby you always thought was cool, or reading a different genre of book, or listening to new music. Sometimes changes can help you feel better.
@BlueBetta I do agree about that pace difference and trying out all those new hobbies and stuff. Been there, done that. Like I can't really see that anything can change at this point, moreover, I eventually give up everything I try to do. Same with music which was my absolute favourite since the early age.
Also, it seems I have almost lost my interest in living, since I'm the only one who supports me at times. Perhaps I'm just a shitty person born to suffer lol
kinda susks to realize that
@wonder1and I feel the exact same way I may still be going but I feel like a disappointment to everyone around me
@wonder1and sorry you are going through this..
Breakups suck! Literally never felt so alone and unmotivated until after my break up. Screw him.
@Housefly I understand how you feel, keep your chin up!!
Why can't I physically be with those I who build me up and that I deeply like?
I'm bombared with school friends, SimLit (ie: fiction which people who play Sims use Sims to tell a story), music I listen to all talk about romantic/ex-romantic relationships and I feel left out. I basically feel like I'm a person left behind on the dock after getting to the dock to late to board a the boat (or replace the idea with a train/train station or an plane and airport) just whatever you think of it.. I'm the one left behind. My parents are a bit overprotective (I mean 1. No matter how many times I argue with my parents that I should be handling my prescriptions renewals Mom STILL does that; 2. When i go into Toronto for my yearly appointment I have to have someone (normally Dad) be in the exam room w/ me because my parents don't think I will be able to understand what the doctor says; 3. Despite be cutting some of my meds in half (Doctor's orders) one summer (2010?) myself Mom still insists on doing it herself.
Other than depression, have anyone experienced this: You have a family situation that you're only to keep it to yourselves and that you're not allowed to reveal it to anyone else. Although the situation is within your family members, but you're also like a third person, so you have no right to comment on it. I find it really hard to keep it to myself, even harder when I can't talk about it to anyone. My parents just keep making excuses when asked by their friends and I am always to be careful of what I say and to whom. Since I'm not allowed to speak in anyway that would hint the other person that I know what is going on.
Kind of hard to explain, but I feel like there's a barrier in between each of us in the family, and we are creating a wall in between our friends because of this. Making us into people who aren't being honest. I understand why my parents don't want to reveal it to their friends, because they don't want to be explaining the whole situation, afraid of what others would think or say about, afraid that they will share the news with others and start gossiping, and they believe that it's really not their business. That we don't need to share every little thing with them just because they are friends. That we each can have our little secrets. But what happens if things become known at the end somehow? Would those friends feel betrayed or was being lied to?~
i feel very bad yesterday & today i didn't support my favorite , due to my residential place is bit far from where his roadshow is . i told him i miss him & his reply was good day ahead , wonder is he angry for what i'm typing ... wanted to apologise but i'm speechless as i had apologise to him a few times already & he doesn't want me to do that often
