You can rant here
I know how it feels sometimes when you just want to rant, but don't know who to talk too or even if they will care. Well I care. You're not alone! Please feel free to say whats been on your mind lately, if you want someone to talk too or just want to rant away. I will listen.
I am so fed up with everything going on in my life, i think i might have bpd . i dont wanna self diagnose but i dont wanna tell my mom to take me to a professional bc ik her and my dad will get worried and i dont like that type of attention, but im almost sure i have bpd ive done my research and go through almost everything it has mentioned on there since i was little. if my friends or anyone just say something thats a bit off to me i start crying thinking i did something wrong then i isolate myself which just makes it worse. and my friends dont do nothing to help that they literally screw with my feeliings 24/7 when ive talked abt how bad my mental health has been but they dont get it. my only two bestfriends drive me insane some times, one mocks me and gets mad at me over the bare minimum, the other doesnt even act like a friend, never checks up on me, left me for a boy she doesnt even know irl, keep in mind ive known her for 9 years. i tell both of them all of my issues, my grandma literally got diagnosed w cancer again and my grandpa just commited the s word, and they still treat me like shit knowing i dont need any of that i have enough on my plate. and i tell them and they simply dont care but im like emotionally attached to them so i dont want to drop them i dont even have any other friends. i also lost my other amazing friend who actually understood me over some shit i did cuz im always messing up everythingggg. and i wanna be friends with her again but i dont wanna seem desperate by texting her first and im also afraid she doesnt wanna be friends again either. ive cried everyday for a week straight cause its always something new i wish i could just disappearrrrrr sometimes i hate all of this im so young i dont wanna go through all this bc i cant even imagine what it will be like when i grow up. anyways this felt good to let all out :)
Good morning😀. I can relate to some of what your saying, I cry very easily when someone gets upset with me or I obsess over the negative situation for a long time, day after day. Think anxiety is biggest problem but other mental health conditions complicate it. You are not alone. Take care!
My brain feels so fuzzy yet so painful. I know that trying to control my emotions is going to make them spill over. Today's one of those days where I think about every mistake I've made with a friend and my brain's just screaming them at me. Usually when it happens I talk myself down. It hurts yet feels good at the same time, getting what I deserve. I haven't really slept since May. I think I got one good night of sleep in August. My appetite is gone, I haven't drank much all day, my hygiene is really gross. I don't tell my therapist how much I'm going through because she likes the other kinds of conversations we have better, it seems. It feels like I'm paying for a friend rather than a therapist, and I guess it's ok for now.
I feel a bit out of it, like terribly anxious but just waiting for something to happen. Waiting for something to spark some interest until class later. It's in 2 hours and I don't want to do anything. And when class comes I already know I'm gonna fumble as I speak. The world keeps saying to me "girl, you need a new life cuz you're not learning from this one". Something has to change and it doesn't make sense that I'm suddenly grieving old (good) times with people who were horrible for my health all... it doesn't make sense I'm talking down to myself so much because I came across an old photo. I guess life is nonsensical.
I've got one friendship lasting 10 years and one lasting 14 years that stand as arguments to my internal whining about how I ruin friendships. Today is a day where I just want to think about everything that has gone wrong in life. Days like this I look at myself in the mirror and don't recognize my face at all. Between being an empty shell of a person, there's the anxiety and depression. The spiraling is strong. Take care of yourselves.
@Lexloveslife I totally could relate, what you said about sleep, appetite, anxiety and depression, and I don't know what to do about it as well
Fridays are my days to cook (unless it's a holiday or someone's birthday)- Mom wants me to make Spaghetti. But Mom has told me in the past Caesar salad goes well with spaghetti but Mom doesn't want to have Caesar salad that she suggest that I make my salad be Caesar salad well hers and Dad's could be tossed salads. But I rather everyone's be Caesar salad instead of just mine because I like making Caesar salad sure we had it as a side dish 7 times during the summer but tossed salad only 3 times. This is one of those things she tells me one thing once and then changes her bloody mind at a future date. Yet we just had tossed salad LAST Friday we hadn't had Caesar salad since the week BEFORE that.
If I can't make a salad I want I rather not cook either again and not eat with the parents-its like the Tacco business I had to push for WEEKS to make something I wanted and I got to make something sort of what I wanted last week (Taco pizza). Another reason is so I don't have to deal with one's person bowl (probably mine) and add the stuff which makes it a casear salad and I just rather put all the Caesar ingredients into ONE big bowl and mix it in and everyone have the SAME salad. Sure Dad doesn't eat Greek salad -ot at least he doesn't eat olives nor does he use the Greek Feta dressing but that's not the same thing.
Yesterday, I tried my best to be caring. He wanted space. I told him I wanted space prior too. Unforunately, we had argued. I really feel dread and can't help but take it personal with what he says in this state. Because I've always been told, someone that loves you would never hurt you. Yet, mental illness cancels out a lot of that and makes it an exception sometimes, I feel like my prideful side can't be shown without hurting him...
Ok, does anybody have treatment resistant depression? Cant seem to find much when I google in terms of support. Many many years of meds and electric convulsive therapy and I am not where I want to be. 90 percent of the time I fight back very hard ( but recent development of persistent anxiety) has overwhelmed me, made me sad, and at times feeling hopeless. There r things that I was doing before the anxiety that Im not doing as well right now( it really bothers me). Really stepped up therapy, when anxiety hit, but was disappointed in results. The therapist misinterpreted my actions( thought I was needy, wasnt totally comfortable lending extra support, and had a hard time helping me process my emotions. I dumped her and the search begins again. I need to communicate these things to a new therapist in the beginning and see how they respond, will keep at it till I find a better fit. Does anybody have experience with any of this. Would be nice not to feel alone. Any advice, re
I feel sick.
I feel so disgusted with everything.
Having kids...what a load of absolute nonsense.
Why on god's green earth would you EVER have kids in a hellish nightmare like the life we live in?
Why would you condemn them to hell like that?!
And guess what? you have kids,THERE WON'T BE A WORLD FOR THEM TO LIVE IN!!!
I don't ever think I'll live to my dad's age(66 when he died) let alone have kids.
I'll end up dying LONG before then.
Life is just a hellish nightmare we can never wake up from.
@Hopeless31, I relate to your feelings. I constantly battle trying to lift up my mental state, let alone improve it. I wish you the best.
My therapist told me I could schedule at any time, so I reached out to her. No response for 4 days, until this morning. I wake up to see she scheduled me - no communication - for a next day appointment first thing in the morning. Her excuse is that she's all booked. I reached out to her with enough time to book me sooner. I have to work around other people's schedules, not just my college schedule. Unbelievable. I only have 2 and a half hours to cancel without a fee now. I reached out to the billing staff. Maybe they'll be able to waive it altogether because of the poor practice of my therapist this week.
I might honestly dump her. I've never had this many issues with a therapist who seems professional and considerate before. If I continue with her, I'll have to make a set time for future appointments like before COVID because this was so ridiculous and rude.
Dear Depression and all your stupid friends (Anxiety, Insecurities, etc, the whole gang),
You can go all go burn in hell. And then rise to heaven to start a new happier, brighter, and greater life. I will not lose to you again. I swear to myself that I will fight you to the depth of the earth. I will never give in to my sadness and the negativity that exists. You all exist as a comparison to my happiness, my strength, my resilience, and my hopes and dreams. Tomorrow I continue the job hunt. I will dust myself off from my wounds of rejection from all the "no's" I've received from my applications and keep on fighting on and keeping on. I know how this cycle looks like with depression. I've been there so many times, it's the same reruns of the same bs episodes over and over and over again. But this time, I remember so I will not repeat the past. I will stand up again, and I will be happily employed.
@MrLovely really admire your positive attitude. I could learn a lot from you :)
life sucks. my period started on saturday and it STILL hasn't stopped. all i want to do is sleep. i've done literally 0 work today besides shower and nap for three hours. i want to eat ramen but i can't bc i can't cook it. my sister still owes me $60 so until i get it i can't buy what it want which went on sale and i'm exactly $60 short. i hate this.
I hate that i cant rant in the chat rooms anymore, i was told i was acting unprofessional and other things. I went to the chat room to rant and was told to stop sulking and fix my mistake, but when i said i didnt do anything wrong they said "you obviously did so stop sulking and fix it"
i hate people like this so much. vent away my friend.
Ever since I was a kid, I always felt different. I would always fall asleep in class but I wouldnt be actually tired. I woould get serious headaches after i did something challenging and I would often daydream. It became really hard to connect with friends even though I was an extrovert and struggled alot in school mainly because of not reaching deadlines and not prioritizing my time. I wanted to figure out what was wrong becuase it always felt like an endless cycle and I felt like i couldnt achieve anything. I came across ADD and ADHD and the symptoms I researched resonated with me...im not self diagnosing just to let yall know. I originally told this to my mom and she began to believe me but a couple days later she acted as if nothing happened and told me that I dont have it. I persistently asked them to let me seek help but they refused. i've been struggling alot with this, but does anyone have advice??
@kinderjoy123
Hey there, you may mind this website helpful? https://www.mightbeadhd.ca/adhd-talking-to-your-doctor there's an online test you can take as well as a print out to fill. It's not a diagnose but you can show your results to your family and doctor. In theory that should make harder to avoid the issue. If you're still in school I would consider bringing it with a teacher you trust as well, or a guidance counselor. They should also have resources for you and be able to talk to your parents on your behalf. Hope that was a bit helpful. Wishing you the best of luck.
@LonelyWolf35 thank you!!