You can rant here
I know how it feels sometimes when you just want to rant, but don't know who to talk too or even if they will care. Well I care. You're not alone! Please feel free to say whats been on your mind lately, if you want someone to talk too or just want to rant away. I will listen.
I'm sitting in pj's. I have to leave the house in 15 minutes.
charge my phone and laptop,
zip up suit case
grab clean clothes, grab towel, get into shower
text boy friend
get into the car
drive to bf's house
start relaxing and listening
People say we need to handle criticism in a healthy way. Criticism can be handled if it's DELIVERED in a healthy way. There WAS guilt tripping and manipulation. Rounded out with gaslighting. Believe me when I say I got second opinions on it. Don't f*cking sacrifice someone for other people. You come to people, then come to people because you care about them as a person! Don't tell them that if they want to ruin their lives...blah blah blah. You see a fraction of their lives. I hardly think you're the one that should judge and define what's right or wrong for someone
K
I just can't deal with life anymore. I can do everything right and then one thing goes wrong and it all goes to h33l. "Why do you destroy everything?" my mom asks me. I don't know,even the day I was born was disastrous,my great grandmother died and it needed hours until I got into this world. This world that never offered me anything good however still tries to wretch my last hopes at me having an almost normal life. I see all the other ppl they have friends and lovers and are loved and love and wonder what in the actual heck did I do in my past life to deserve such scrutiny. My friends don't even consider me a friend,more so like a milestone to step on,to lean on and leave it when it's worthless. I want to detach myself from all the world around me,but it's gonna be like going away from the thorns to get to the bottom of the sea and drown on your sorrow. I want to be beautiful, I want to be nice and I want to be liked and loved but it hurts knowing that nothing like taht will ever happen. It feels like the endroad of my life at this point.
I'm really stressed.
Trying to figure out the pay stub information was confusing - especially to check if I'm paid correctly.
Current status: figured it out. Phew.
Next thing.
I'm still stressed. I feel pulled from all sides. Should I eat? should I look at my dog? Should I do this, or that? IDK. thoughts. one thing, one time.
Feeling rested tonight. Am getting ready to sleep and encourage myself to be loud and mindful at work.
Tomr, I'll be starting my morning routine at 9am. I think I'd like to visualize what my day looks like tomr. I have stopped subbing regularly, so I'm a bit nervous. I'll be getting my lunch, put it in my bag, and be calm for tomorrow. There's just one thing I'll do - introduce myself to the students and have a great day with them. I'll say my name, and learn the student's names, and the teacher aide's names. Then, I'll go home.
@wonderousSigns7
My rant is this-I am so sick, as a man, of being hated on and blamed for everything in society 24/7, and the lack of help there is for men with issues. Everything is shaped around and geared to helping women. All the funding goes there, all the public support, all the societal structures. I am so sick of it. Men never get believed if their story contradicts a womans story, men never get helped as women do, men never get the advantages women get in modern western society, but instead get hated on, called names, insulted, patronised, banned, and more.
What happened to the idea of proper equality? Of treating everybody kindly and fairly? Social media and mass media is just full of man hating. Books are openly on display in mainstream shops with titles like "Kill all men" for kids to see. Yet a man makes a joke about something like that with the gender reversed and they get their lives ruined.
This is not equality, this is supremacy, this is hatred, and it has got to stop. No wonder male suicide rates are higher than ever.
I finally feel emotionally well. I always feel like *** after work/being with people. AND it's not things that happen. I just think I'm ***. At a lot of things, so I overly critically to the self.
It helps to focus on things I CAN do well. AND also to get help. I am so glad the guy I asked for help was able to write a 2 sentence summary about the chapter book. Because when I read, it freaking will be dramatic. And then, after all the drama and fast reading and voice changes, I feel like I did too much and am exhausted. The other lady who was helping with the wheelchair, said tight. And the guy changed his shirt, tucked it in, and got to writing. It helps that they smile and look at me. }
People leave so fast - they just do their position and leave. Leave. That's the part that's difficult for me, but I'll see if I can justify it. Do it, and leave.
It helped my heart and nerves/sads
...to go to the car, and rest.
...to tell the truth and say I'm going home for lunch.
...to ask for him to do the other job.
...to ask the office manager what does H mean.
...to sit at the waiting room
...to eat SPICY noodles in soup
...to make a SWEET banana milk that tastes like banana
...to ANSWER text and confirm PLANS to hang out with my friend this weekend
...to feel good when another 7cup member related their experience of "existence/disappearance/confusion" in this world
...to watch Netflix, Grey's Anatomy and be zoned in
...to tell my dad that another teacher returned my Halloween wig after holding onto it for 8 months for me <3
...to work with a student and read the book the Lorax to Him, AND to practice vocabulary speech.
@tealBear2472
I want to do a daily hour to track where I am.
7am work
12pm off work, meal
1pm phone game, online game, vent on 7cup
630pm netflix
There's 4 more hours in my day. I think I'd like to take out stuff from my car, empty it. And also do 3 hour things like job hunting, or laundry folding.
Tomr, I have concrete plans. I mostly work 2 jobs.
I have 2 jobs, back to back.
Wednesday
10:15am - cat sit
12:00pm - substitute teach
4:00pm - go home
Thursday
7:30am - substitute teach
3:30pm - go home
4:00pm - bring car to mechanic
Friday
7:30am - substitute teach
3:30pm - cat sit
4pm - rest
Sat
11am - lunch, with bf
Sun
9am - hike with friend, & noon lunch
Mon
Try to pick up 1 sub job.
Tue
Back to back subbing.
Dear God
Thank you for giving me time to watch Netflix entertainment. Grey's Anatomy is the best gossipy and romantic drama.
Also, ty for kind people. I hope I can get out of my crutch and focus on the needs of others, and take risk, and experiment.
I hope you can bless me with sleep and rest. Praying.
Sick of depression. Bp1 cognitive trouble.
I'm sleeping at 11am. And getting a good sleep. 8 hours. And then going to check in at work, do work, survive, then go to side hustle job, and go home to rest Friday. I feel like my mind is killing me. I'm too tired mentally and bot enough sleep.