You can rant here
I know how it feels sometimes when you just want to rant, but don't know who to talk too or even if they will care. Well I care. You're not alone! Please feel free to say whats been on your mind lately, if you want someone to talk too or just want to rant away. I will listen.
THREE AND A TWO AND A ONE TWO THREE!
I haven’t done ANYTHKNG in liiiiife… oh man, guys around me are already deciding for their future and taking the SAT’s and learning to drive and having times with their siblings and family and also have tons of talents
but me? I sit on my *** all day playing video games crying about how much I hate myself and how I have 0 talent, yes that’s right, Z E R O talent to compensate! (HEY HEY YEAH HEY!) I also beat myself up over little mistakes and I hate the way I look and act but it’s already ingrained into me so I self sabotage and drive everyone away from me.
before you’re like BUT YA GOTTA HAVE SOMETHING RIGHT??? Nope!!
I love psych but don’t study it, I’ve been playing the oboe for 6 years and I have so much difficulty reading sheet music and sight reading it isn’t even funny HAHA I just rely on my perfect pitch to carry me (loser) which is bad
i am nooooot a pretty person! I have short black hair glasses probably a double chin and a fat stomach and for gods sake I’m non-binary and lesbian and a guy like me isn’t ever gonna get a girlfriend with my behavior!!
my friends have other crushes and people to think of and I’m just here going “man I hate myself” and driving people who want to talk to me
but they’re all gonna leave me anywyas I. The end and I cry about that lol
i just wish I was a better guy y’know? It’s so hard to let go of video games and not be depressed, and actually do something in life that’s gonna get me into a goddamned college
i just wanna be happy!! Hey, how do I do that? Well I kinda forgot LOL
… I hate myself LOL and my life is going nowhere
whyyyyy oh whyyy do I have to feel like this… whyyyyyy!
Just to air out some things I can't air out in good conscience elsewhere.
I've been struggling so much with apathy. Like... really struggling with it and trying to pretend that I'm not. I've been so fake lately... pretending to care about things I don't care about.
I don't know what else to do because I need to care about something, right? Something?
It's not like a I don't feel at all, it's just that any feelings that happen are so transient and don't motivate further interest or action, like a wave that passes over me and then it is gone, and I'm still in the same place.
This is getting so bad that I quit my job and I'm relying on family and savings to get by. I don't spend time with people except out of guilt. I don't care about eating, so prepping meals is a real chore, but I try to do it, and it keeps getting harder. Sometimes even when I make meals, I don't eat them myself, I just make them for others to eat. I just don't care.
I spend my time reading, or watch shows, or writing stories about people living real lives, or listening to music and just drifting - staring at the ceiling. Like, that is all I want to do.
I make obligations to force myself to do things, pretend I have plans or some kind of passion, but I'm afraid that I'll start blowing them off as I literally feel no excitement for opportunities, or anxiety over consequences, and that is worrying me. It's just so sad and frustrating, or it should be...
I went to visit some family, and it was actually a really nice time. Really nice. We went out to dinner, and I played with the kids. They're great kids, and they seem to look up to me. They asked when I was going to see them again. But it's like I'm two people. That person who is worth looking up to, can play a role, and then the person who feels nothing about it, who wants to be a ghost, a silent observer, a nothing.
Been trying to figure out why this is happening, as it has been going on for nearly a year, getting progressively worse. I'm honestly starting to scare myself and that I might totally destroy my life and relationships and live in a gutter just to make myself feel something significant, to force myself to act.
This really sucks and I don't know what to do.
@wonderousSigns7
I’m starting college as well as turning 18 next week. I can’t really explain it well but I just feel like turning an adult will put so many more expectations on myself. Like the things I maybe could have gotten away with in the past can’t anymore and actually need to start thinking about the future. Starting at a brand new school also scares me because it feels like starting at square one again after four years of high school. If anyone wants to share how they felt after turning into an adult then feel free.
Kinda am having too much screen time. I'm just in bed, laying, and scroll social media. I think each post I watch adds to my life. It doesnt!! I am not living through strangers. So I have to do something else like breathe, and add to my life instead of wasting hours on it like 4 hours today.
What can I do instead? Go Job hunting.
@wonderousSigns7
Thank you so much for creating this post, I really appreciate it.
I rant all the time as well, and it makes me feel so bad about myself. It's like i need to rant so I can get these negative stuff out of the system, but I can't just have my loved ones surround me 24/7.
So here's my ranting...
I feel so bad that I am always so sensitive about everything. It can be triggered by anyone, or even myself! There are so many times I wish I am "normal" but I just kept feeling stressed and anxious and negative all the time.
I am graduating in a few months, and it scares me... how am I suppose to handle life as a self-sufficient person, when I can barely handle myself now when I am a student with more freedom and support?
Everyday I wake up feeling worry for my future. I know it is not healthy and no point to negatively predict my future, but with my pattern in life so far I don't really have high hopes that it is going to change. How am I suppose to sustain a job, a life, a relationship and all when I constantly have breakdowns out of no way and scared of everything?
sorry that sounds highly negative and long
don't like these intrusive feelings. hate anxiety. Want to be calm and understood.
Since I was NBSB, I tried using dating apps. I met a lot of people, but there was one experience that truly left a mark on me. I met an Indian guy who was the same age as me. We exchanged social media accounts and slowly became really close. Without realizing it, I found myself smiling every time we talked. Even the simple reels he sent were enough to make me happy.
After a few days, he confessed that he liked me. He said he didn’t know exactly why, but he wanted to be honest so he wouldn’t regret it in the end. Because of my emotions at that time, and a bit of pressure, I agreed to be with him. During the first few days of our relationship, everything felt fine. I was happy, excited, and full of love.
However, things slowly changed. He started to feel distant. He always said he was sleepy or busy with something. Then I noticed that he was posting Indian song lyrics in his notes. Out of curiosity, I searched for their meanings. That was when I found out the songs were about his ex, and worse, that he still loved her.
I later learned that he had just broken up with his ex before we became a couple. That was when I realized I had been a rebound. I never imagined I would experience something like this.
To those who are looking for love online: don’t rush into things. Sometimes, excitement isn’t enough, you also need to make sure the person is emotionally ready and sincere.
@wonderousSigns7 I feel like im being selfish and egotistical, but i cant help shake the feeling that i deserve more in my speech team. Im going into my junior year, my third year of effort in this extracurricular. I have qualified to the state tournament, i have gotten first place in one of the biggest tournaments in my area, i have done extra speech opportunities that very few team members did, i have helped other team members (even going to one of my friends houses to help them). You would think that i would have gotten at least a small leadership position right? NO. One of my teammates who did SIGNIFICANTLY less work than i did, didnt work with the team, has one less year of experience, didnt recieve any awards or achivements, and has gotten in trouble with the coach GOT THE POSITION I WAS IN THE RUNNING FOR. HOW????? I feel so undervalued in the team but its not like i can do anything about it. I just have to sit with the knowledge that im missing out on an opportunity to put something i deserve on my resume.