relapse

I showed a photo of me and my friends to my internet friend last night.

I wasn't expect for him to say something about how me or my friends look when I sent it to him. As I was searching for more photos in my gallery, he replied with a compliment towards my best friend. He told me she was beautiful and I am glad he noticed that. However, after a couple of minutes, he replied with "You're a pig."

I was shocked. He corrected himself and told me that it as supposed to be 'big' and not 'pig'. Either way, I was insulted and that instantly changed my mood. He isn't just a friend to me and we actually like each other. I was trying to feel better and stay positive and not think of anything negative but what he told me reminded me of how I starved and almost k1lled myself in 8th grade and even until now. I'm desperate to lose weight and hearing that from him made me feel a lot of things. Anger, sadness, embarrassment, name it. I am already insecure than before but he just made me even more insecure of my body. How can he compliment my friends and insult me right after? I am trying not to think about it for me not to relapse but what he said makes me want to hide myself from everyone as I am afraid of what will they say about my body. I never expected those to come from him, especially now that he told me he has feelings for me. I don't know what to feel nor think. I don't want to talk to him anymore. I don't want to talk to anyone nor show myself to them. I don't know what to do.