why does living have to be hard
I'm so tired, mentally. Emotionally, I'm not even here. I can't regulate any emotion. I cried last night literally out of nowhere, I wasn't even sad, then this very simple thought came up and it wasn't even that tragic. But it made me react so hysterically. I just don't know how I can continue to live for several more decades with my mind. It seems so ridiculously exhausting. I want to live a really long life and I'm still very young (literally just started my 20s) and everyone talks about how this is the most fun decade, the ultimate decade, and that just sounds terrifying to me cause that is a LOT of pressure. If anything it's only made me even more afraid of making mistakes, experiencing more paralysis, depressive episodes, ruts, anything but fun. The most fun I had was when I was just 4 years old playing with my barbie dolls and toy cars and not having any awareness of anything around me. I want to live, but I just wish I could exist. I don't want to get up early and have a productive morning routine, I don't want to have a night routine when I know that the next day will just be the exact same thing. I don't want to be able to apply for jobs, or buy a car, I just want to exist as a tree or a bird and fly around many places I enjoy being in and view all my surroundings. But that's as far as I would like to go. I don't want to participate in anything when literally our planet is being destroyed and everyone just takes it as a joke. To be honest, I feel happiest and more willing to do things that are good for me when I stop caring and take things less seriously. But it's either I act childish and don't care as much about looking silly or embarrassing in public, letting my inner child talk, or I just wish to never see anyone or go outside ever again.
@peaceandblessings Welcome to 7Cups, Peace. Glad to have you here with us and thank you for reaching out. I get it how exhausted and overwhelmed you feel mentally and emotionally. It feels really difficult to cope with such intense and fluctuating emotions, and to feel pressure to live up to society's expectations of how your 20s should be. I can understand why you wish for a simpler existence without the demands and awareness of the human experience. It's okay to feel this way. Your feelings are valid and it's important to acknowledge them. Perhaps focusing on the little joys and self care that help you feel more at peace could help create moments of reprieve from the overwhelm. Do you try or explored any self care activities or coping strategies that help you?
Please know you are not alone. You ahve all of us here with you to listen and support. You can also join us in the Depression Group Chat here!
@peaceandblessings Hug you. Sometimes I also think life is full of challenges. But do not worry, you are not alone. Even though I am not able to give your help, but I think I can listen what your say and encourage you like what I am doing now. Everything will be better. Let us face it together!
@peaceandblessings
There is no decade that is necessarily more perfect than any other. When you put pressure on yourself that you should be feeling happy then you feel the opposite.
Yes, life does involve some level of working a job, but I have found that no day is exactly like the next. They are actually pretty different and you can find time to fly free and just be. But you have to make that time and watch out for joy. No one is joyful all the time. Once you realize that things can be easier. @peaceandblessings
