Do I have to give up my social group?

I [35/F] have no friends so I joined Meetup, there are only a few meetups locally but this one is ideal for me - rock group with people my own age, go places I like to go - there are few other opportunities to meet people. I've gotten on okay with some people but I'm still more an acquaintance who kind of hangs to the side as I have autism so seem shy and I really struggle to connect to people, I still like going because without a group to go with I can't really go to the places I like to go and I still hope to make some friends with these people.

My boyfriend [36/M] joined this group a few months after me and integrated quickly - he became a core member, the group have unofficial get togethers and they stated inviting him/he started his own get togethers (including nights out, he's stated a book club and had movie nights, he went to a music fstival fo a few days with some of the members). We started dating and through him I was invited to a few of the unofficial get togethers, like nights out and went to one members house, but this didn't increase my standing in the group.

Now we've broken up, we had a falling out where he became nasty and we're not talking. While still talking we agreed to avoid each other at meetups (checking on meetup app or group chat) but I still feel uncomfortable with going to the meetups now due to his being so popular, and I'm certainly not comfortable inviting myself to unofficial get togethers (which I'd know about via group chat).

I can't treat writing off this group as if it's no big deal, there are so few opportunities for me to meet new people.

I doubt they'd take sides and I don't think my ex would bad-mouth me, but they are his friends while I've no real connections, and that they've seen us go from super happy to not talking makes it feel awkward. I don't know if I should just give up and go back to having no social life or if I should maybe give it a few months and try to go to an official meetup to see if I can at least keep something of it.

TL;DR - Broke-up with ex, now unsure if I can keep hanging out with shared social group as he's closer with them.