Life goal of feeling loved
I have never felt loved. My mom has 12 children. I was number 8 and was just left to figure things out on my own. I had no supervision or rules, no safety or security. My father was just an ass. Because of this I have always chosen men that made me feel like my dad did because that's what I knew.
The one thing that I have always wanted in life was to really feel loved. I have been a single mom for 16 years. I have never lived with a man or felt safe/secure/loved by any man or woman. I know that someone could love me if I find that person and I actually let them in but how do I get to that place?
@dihahey
Hey there. I'm so sorry for your experience it does sound terrible!
My advice is to try to get help. Like you mentioned women search for partners that are similar to their father's behaviour, and since your situation was bad you'll look for the same. This means you have to "re-learn" what you deserve. That you deserve love and respect
Many health professionals specialise in that area, so try to talk to your family doctor and ask for help in this matter. Is hard to speak but trust me is very worth it.
Also meanwhile you do that check our forums of mindfullness! Has great tips for you to feel good about yourself and to heal.
And if you want there's also a forum section about trauma , all kinds really. Maybe you could find a listener from that community!
Best of luck 
@Booklover95
Thank you booklover. I have spent so many years working on getting over the trauma from.childhood but it just seems never ending. I will continue to work on it.
Hi there, nice to meet you.
Just read your story. I'm sorry you didn't have a good childhood. I understand every child wants to feel loved and wanted but sorry that happened.
I don't know everything about your or what your looking for in terms of help. Only, I know love is important to you.
Did you say you have children? If so do you feel loved by them?
Love is a strong feeling. It's hard for everyone to know what love is. We all experience it differently. The main thing is for you to love yourself before someone can love you.
If you want love just cuz of silly reason which not saying you do but if you do you may go looking for it too hard.
What you want is to build your self esteem and work on all areas of that. What is it you lack which you want to improve? Is it confidence or to become an assertive person. Think of how you can do this and what might take you there.
You are not alone. You will find someone when time is right but now focus on you and the joy what you have around you. Do something what you want to do even. Anything what will help or boost your confidence.
Hope that helps.
