Trying to figure out if it’s just Loneliness
Recently I started feeling worse than I normally would. I guess everyone feels lonely sometimes but I think it’s more than just loneliness at this point. Im pretty young to have gone through as much as I have, my freshman year of HighSchool I was pulled out of school halfway and got homeschooled, and I think that’s where it sort of started for me. I was cut off from basically the entire world, i feel at least, I was bullied in middle school and everything got better in HS but as I said I was pulled out. I struggled really hard with sadness but my friends helped with that at the time, as time went by I lost basically all my friends. Around the same time I had a close family member die so that made me feel worse. Few months later I was still sad and another family member I was close to died. At the time it felt like anything good in my life was being taken. Slowly I thought things were getting better but then I found out my dad was cheating on my mom. That’s what destroyed the little happiness I felt, he had been my light through all the darkness around me.
Now that was 3-4 years ago and im still hurt about it but I feel I got better. I have a boyfriend and we’ve been together since before I found out the stuff about my dad. He was the only person I seen everyday but still I felt alone. I ended up moving across the country and we’ve had a long distance relationship. He came to see me 2 months ago but after he left, omg, it has been the worst. It’s like all the loneliness I had felt came back, if I would sleep all day I would. I’ve never been diagnosed with depression or anxiety or anything like that but the sadness I’ve felt recently is like nothing I’ve ever felt. I stopped working after he left bc of the sadness. It’s been hard to leave my bed, to brush my teeth or shower, even eat. I don’t know what’s going on with me and I feel so stressed out about it.
@bestPineapple8897
you are not alone
@bestPineapple8897
You're grieving and that's totally understandable. I'm so sorry your losses... and your relationship with your dad and the situation you're dealing with now with your long-term boyfriend.
The difficulty in getting out of bed and hygiene stuff does sound like more than loneliness. For me, loneliness and depression have been persistent in my life for a while. It's always there, but every day is different in how it affects me. And when it gets bad, I always find something or someone to pull me out of the deep end (usually music).
If it's any consolation, what you're going through is only temporary. And you are loved.
@neoneon
I feel your pain. I think the sense of loneliness and isolation is tough. Sounds like you’re grieving your losses especially people that are close to you but it will change you will get better. There is always hope there is always hope. there is light of Ray always shining upon us. It’s just been hovered over with a black cloud
keep your head up keep your spirits high it will pass to and you will get better
I feel your pain I’ve gone through and continue to go through the ups and downs of life for myself as well.
@bestPineapple8897 thank you for sharing, it's heavy to keep carrying the sadness inside your heart, but you don't have to carry it alone.
Grief is not easy and it takes time. "Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly. "
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Recharging your physical and mental health is necessary, I hope you find ways to do that. There is a will, there is a way. I'm not a mental expert and I cannot give advice, either. How do you think about therapy? Have you considered looking into that? There might be some free counseling programs in local communities or schools or something near you.
You're not alone, and you are loved, there are always people in the world that need you, maybe you have met them, maybe you haven't met them.
I hope your days will get better and you will feel more peaceful and loved. Should you need an ear to listen, I'm here, or our 7 Cups listeners are here. Please don't hesitate to reach out.
💐💐💐💐💐🌻🌻🌻🌻
