Don't know where to turn
I woke up feeling terrible and went for a long walk. I was in my head as I walked and there are things I need to talk about but I don't feel comfortable talking to the counsellor about it. I haven't had a chance to see a psychologist yet. I also don't want to talk about it with friends or here. I wrote it out but I don't think I made much progress in figuring it out.
Sorry about how cryptic this is, but what do you do if you need to talk but have no one to turn to?
I tend to type it all out until Ive gotten it out of my system- then I delete it
@bubbleGlobe
@chillingwave01 what if you want some kind of solution out of it? I feel like I can't figure it out myself. Feeling so stuck and trapped 😭
As cheesy as it may sound- Ive used the 7cups chat rooms for talking about my problems- 😅 also friends
@bubbleGlobe
@chillingwave01 I often feel overwhelmed at how full the rooms are and how many messages are going at once
Heh... me too to be honest- the therapists they offer are also quite helpful, Ive also looked to influencers on YouTube and how they treat stress 🎀
@bubbleGlobe
@bubbleGlobe
For a long time I've been facing the same problem. I have no one to turn to. No one. I keep my secrets to myself. I'm not sure if its trust issues or simply I don't want to bother others with my stuff. i'm also not comfortable talking to a therapist or seek counselling. I started writing to get it out and it help me feel better. I tend to write everything that comes to my mind including how I feel on a daily basis and what stuff I have noticed or found weird even if it sounds stupid. I smile, laugh, cry and wheep when writing and pour it all out.
Talking to strangers will help you too as they will not judge or even know who u r. Try that here :)
@LadyInSilence I think I can talk to a therapist or counsellor okay, but there are certain things I don't want to say to them. I don't know...
My issue about talking here is also I'm worried it'll also be difficult for the person listening. They also have their own issues, so I'm worried whether something I say might also be triggering. I did write it out at first, but deleted it and put it on my blog instead.
@bubbleGlobe I have a private journal I use for things like that. If you prefer talking out loud, you could try a cat, or even an inanimate object like a rubber duck. (Believe it or not, "rubber duck debugging" is a well-known technique for solving software problems.)
@stressBear yeah, I use a private blog and write it out. I think my issue is I want some kind of solution, but I don't know how to get that
@bubbleGlobe Well, there are two different kinds of solutions, to different problems. There are the problems that you can't solve without specialized information or skills that you simply have no way of knowing. The other kind are the ones that you actually can solve -- you have all the facts, and all you need is that one key insight that makes the solution obvious.
The best way to tell which is which is to explain the problem in excruciating detail. Whether it's to a therapist, a 7cups listener, or a rubber duck doesn't matter. If you get to a point where you can say to yourself "oh... right... of course!" you have one of the second kind. If you don't, you need to put your rubber duck back in the bathtub and explain your problem to a human who specializes in that kind of problem, or can refer you to someone who does.
That usually means a therapist; but a good listener may be able to ask questions that point you toward a solution. A rubber duck is a little limited in that respect. But treating your journal as a rubber duck will give you a good description of the problem that you can hand to a therapist, which will save a lot of time.
@stressBear thank you so so much. I definitely need to learn to figure out whether I'm excessively worrying over stuff that I am powerless to do anything about and should let go, whether it's something I can take action for, and whether it is something I can find help for such as from a therapist...
It seems to me that if you know a counsellor, but you don't feel comfortable talking to the counsellor about the things you need to talk about, then the counsellor is not doing their job effectively. Perhaps a different counsellor might be better.
Chatting to an experienced listener here at 7 Cups should be nearly as good as talking to a counsellor. Personally, I am not triggered by anything at all and you can chat to me about anything that 7 Cups allows. Just at the moment I am taking a break from 1-to-1 chats, but you are still welcome to message me and I'll reply as soon as I can.
It's very possible that there are also other listeners who are not triggered by anything at all. It's a reasonable thing to ask any listener at the start of a chat.
Another alternative is to search the Internet for a telephone helpline of some kind. It could be one that's specific to the issues you want to talk about, or it could be a general-purpose one like Samaritans in the UK and Ireland, one of the Befrienders Worldwide group, or a warmline. If you need to talk about things that 7 Cups stigmatizes, you are likely to find most helplines more accepting.
I know that listing all these alternatives probably doesn't make the feeling of having no one to turn to magically go away. I hope you can find a way around it.
Charlie
@RarelyCharlie thank you so much for all that. I do also think a large part of it is my overthinking and coming up with the worst (not necessarily possible) outcome for talking about it.
I feel you as I too am going through the same shit.
It's hard when in a rational thought you should not be behaving this way as everyone go through darkest valley and everyone is coping well. I should be coping well too.
I tend to write a blog to convey my feelings or even post it on IG stories. Maybe venting it out on social media is not correct but this is the way that I vent my feelings out.
Sorry for writing a long winding comment with a lot of negative words.
Will pray for you to be strong. Gambateh =)
@bubbleGlobe
@pinkKiwi4811 thank you ❤️ yeah, I use a blog. I've mostly disconnected from social media, and I have a bit of a filter when I talk to friends.
I know I should be happy with how things are going for me. I think I'm scared to be happy in case I lose it all because it's so unfamiliar to me.
