Friendships are hard
I kind of need second opinions on this
So, I've been depressed for 3 years (officially) and I've had 4 friends that always helped me and tried their best all the time but now they're tired and frustrated cause nothing works, and i get their side, i feel like i put too much pressure on them too, i feel like a burden because im always negative and can't see the positive side of things so i always end up talking like this and overwhelmed my best friend (wich also had problems at home at the same time) to the point that she said she needed a break of me because i was pulling her down, she didn't meant to hurt me but it did and made me think if it wasn't for the best if i got out of their lives... So im considering leaving them until i get better but i dont know if i can stand the loneliness or if it's the best thing to do...
@rebelkitty22 again?🙄
@DonneMoi sorry if my problems botter you
@rebelkitty22 no, on the contrary...i answered you and my answer was deleted, so why bother?🙄
@rebelkitty22 and the worst part is I answered you so nicely...i took my time to write you kind words...uncomprehensible...😔😔😔
@DonneMoi whatt? i didnt saw or deleted anything
@rebelkitty22 i think it would be a good idea to talk with your other friends about how they feel your one friend said she needed a break you can ask if they need a break too let them know its ok and you understand if they do need a break i dont think you should stay away from them without any explanation why your doing it so theres no misunderstandings you can also stay in contact with them maybe just through messages its easier on people being around negativity if it isnt visible (tone of voice look of sadness posture exc. all has a psychological affect on people) but explain why your doing it ;)
@jennysunrise8 thanks, i would do that anyway, but i still don't know if its ihe best, one of them even got ofended when i slightly suggested it on a text 😔
@rebelkitty22 i would just ask each one of your friends how your depression is affecting them if they would like to take a break or just keep it to text only for a while the friend who seemed offended when you tried to bring it up it sounds like a misunderstanding you didnt intend to upset her your interpreting her response as being offended when she might be feeling something else maybe anger or frustration with you or feeling some other way the only way to know how someone is feeling is to ask she might just be having a bad day im sure there are other things going on in her life that could be putting her in a bad mood so just ask " why are you upset with me asking about this ? " so thats a misunderstanding that should be shraightened out with that particular friend
just let your friends know that they can tell you how they feel and if they need a break just let you know and your ok with it it doesnt mean theyre bad friends everyone needs breaks you could also add that one of your friends asked for a break and you understand why its a break well deserved and overdue and if they feel the same just let you know youll be ok not feeling the guilt you have of overburdening your friends will probabally have a positive affect on you not negative guilt causes more negative thoughts than anything else for people
@jennysunrise8 thanks, that comment really made think, and im definitely going to follow some of your advices ^.^
@rebelkitty22 How old are you? Every woman needs a friend I guess, but as you get older, you realize that true friends are far and few. Family, no matter how dysfunctional, is really the only people you can count on to some extent. I had fun in my teens and 20's, but after the fun was done, most of my "best friends" went their separate ways because they developed their own lives, careers, and significant others. I am 33 now and my best friend is my husband. I do call my mom for advice, but at times she can be manipulating to get free work done on her car. (We have an auto shop). If you are truly depressed, find out the real problem and talk to a professional. Talk to your spouse or a family member that really cares. Friends come and go my dear. It may hurt, but it's true.
@TransAm85 im 21 and this friendships have been going for years, right know im im in a good place and my family kind of devalues my depression even though I've been followed by a psychiatrist all this time, they just pay the bills, i guess its their way to help...
@rebelkitty22 I understand you also about that! You are young, so why do you have depression, ya know? I have had anxiety and co dependency issues since I was a young adult. Where did that come from? Of course my childhood. I grew up in a single family household and my mother never took the time to emotionally care for me. I had to grow up fast. It took me 30 years to figure out why I did certian things and have such a problem showing my feelings, but now I have to work on the issue. Love yourself my dear. Don't compare yourself to others. You have many years ahead of you and can do so many things! When I was 21 I was in college but I wasn't so motivated. I worried too much what others thought. So instead of studying, I went out every weekend partying and hanging out w/boys. I had to drop out of college and ended up just working regular jobs. Just be you my dear and don't let anyone make you feel any less.
Friends, for the most part, are just people who want to use you and throw you away when they're finished with you. Not all friends, of course, but it's happened enough in my life I've pretty much sworn never to make another friend if I live a million more years. There are some true friends who I value a lot, but to most people they don't care about you unless you're useful to them and will abandon you the second things go downhill.