One thing that triggers my depression is....
Something that triggers my depression is listening to certain songs I used to hear all the time when I was going through my worst. Also to think about my best friend who's passed away last year (Trigger Warning next sentence) due to self harm. And it brings back memories or thoughts that brings me back to my worst times. Also when I get overwhelmed by the same things that caused my depression, My mom, my friends, Multiple people I cared about being mad at me, Sexual assault, My best friend, it was all very overwhelming. And also the death of my uncle. He was my favorite family member and he always took good care of me, I'm starting to tear up now so I'm gonna end this here sorry guys.
-StrawberryJam <3.
1. Mistakes it feels like they are so important that they will swallow me down
2. Imaging worst case scenarios on what others think of me
3. Hearing examples of bad behavour and momentally trying to correct myself not to do them because otherwise people will hate me
4. Screaming
5. Being pushed away, called werid, toxic or whatever
Im constantly on my own throat it feels awful.
When I feel ignored by those around me. I know they don't mean to do it but I can't help but feel I'm just not important enough to them. Haven't heard from a guy I like, who has said he likes me, unless I initiate (he's got two jobs so I understand it's not going to be constant). My family seems to not think to tell me things, making me the last to know. Even about important things. I know life just happens, but it just reinforces that I don't feel wanted. Like I'm just a body instead of somebody
Finally having a chance to build a friendship, and tell my secrets too them , something I have never had and minutes before meeting up with them they cancel. That is why I have avoided any relationships for a lot of years they get a whiff of my secrets and they run.
Being alone with my thoughts, when I have a moment to think and process life I start to fall into a slump
Every time I wake up in the morning, I'm in some disbelief that I'm still alive
For me it is not one thing that triggers it because I have dealt with it everyday for around 40 years. That is why one of my responses to this thread was waking up. If and when I can get to sleep I am not aware of those thoughts
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My inability to be a respectable human, constantly behind someone else
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