One thing that triggers my depression is....
Seeing my beautiful wife of almost 18 years every day and wanting to be physically loved in the worst way. My mind is always on.
@PassDaPuk1166 you should talk to her. :)
@Vvbbyx Thank you for the suggestion. Actually, I have tried to talk to her about this as recently as this past weekend, but she gets really upset whenever I bring it up. So I stopped. I always was the more affectionate spouse, and i only want her. I am upset with myself for having "crazy" thoughts because of this (I am 100% loyal to her and I keep this to myself). I think I keep going only because of our kids, but I can't remember what it was like being happy.
@PassDaPuk1166 I am sorry to read that you can't remember when the last time was when you were happy. One thing you wrote especially caught my eye. That you think you do it only because of your kids. If i may ask (and if you don't want to answer i totally understand) what would you have done in this situation, regarding your relationship, if you didn't have children?
@Bluelivin Hi. I am totally committed to the vows that we made when we were married, and I would always want to fight for keeping it together. Intimacy is a special bond between 2 people - I need that. It was fantastic in the beginning, and I am a realist to know that it would never stay the way it was before we were married and in the early years. There have been signs in the past 10 years of it slowing down, but never to the point of long gaps like now. It only seems to bother me, not my wife. The kids mean everything to both of us, and we would never want to put them in a position of having separated or divorced parents. Ironically, everything else in our marriage is good. I make a point every day to let her know I love her; I'll sit and watch her shows with her; we'll watch shows we both like together; I wash the dishes, take out the trash, etc.. I try to take care of the little things. It's to the point where I don't even get a kiss goodnight. I've probably shouldn't say this to her, but I have once or twice in the past couple of years said that we are great roommates. I don't want to be roommates.
@PassDaPuk1166 I admire your willingness to fight for what you have. In my opinion every person should be willing to fight for what they want, until the end. I can understand you don't want to be roommates, you want to be husband and wife completely :) My wish for you is that you can keep communicating with your partner about the difficulties you experience at this moment. In my experience, honest and open communication is key for getting through difficult periods together successfully. Ofcourse note that this is my truth and that doesn't mean it should be your truth as well. My hope goes out for you to find the intimacy and happiness again.
When multiple people don't reply to my text or ignore me somehow...or at least it seems that way from my perspective.
Sounds like me ,if they don
@hypnosis me too because i feel so lonely and a person which i love makes it, i feel more worthless, i get angry and sad too much
Losing control of myself and choosing unhealthy coping mechanisms I know have never worked.
You said one thing,,,,CHANGE
Already feeling unimportant, my husband has little time for me makes it worse
@Notallwhoarewonderarelost ,hey the mrs is the same to,have you got bpd by any chance
@shyPeach3776 interesting. That triggered my depression to. I haven't seen a doctor yet, but I'm thinking I may have BPD.
@generousRose its a difficult thing. He doesnt fully understand I dont think. Ive tried to make him understand Im so many different ways that I need him. I feel like Im ALWAYS super supportive and there for him when he needs. And I really effing need him and I kinda feel abandoned.
@Notallwhoarewonderarelost sad to say, I get it 😟. I feel like I NEED my husband too... But in turn that makes me feel weak.... Like that I shouldn't have that much need for another human being
@shyPeach3776 bipolar yes, borderline personality, no. But Im really struggling with my BP. I have a ton of things going on, and I lost my insurance so I have no way to get the meds that I need.
@shyPeach3776 bipolar, yes borderline personality no. Im really struggling right now. I have so much going on in my life, and I lost my insurance so there is NO way for me to get the meds I need.
@Notallwhoarewonderarelost i can understand you very well, if it makes you very sad leave him you can trust me. being sad with a person is worse than being sad with nobody
@poindahous
my mom and other people ive let down
being lonely, money problems and physicological violence in home
Being overwhelmed by too many struggles
Having social anxiety, but craving a social life.
@fishparrotkiwi yes! Me too.
My parents -who are very disinterested in my well being yet they have med insurance and i don't ..
My job -dealing with malicious employees doesn't make it any better ..
My health -which is never certain ,always falling sick at the wong times ,which makes it very difficult being at work daily.