What is something Depression keeps others from knowing about you?

That I struggle and I need support, even when I have trouble admitting it.

My depression hides everything which is why I have no one

Depression hides me wanting to laugh and excersize.

Depression has been apart of my life since I was very young. If there is anyway I can describe it, i would say it is my mean dog

I must nourish it, and cuddle it, show it attention, because if I dont, it will become attention seeking and mean.

I must always know it is there, never pretend it doesnt exist. Because it does exist. It is apart of my life. Sometimes the dog is all I think about , and sometimes the dog wont stop pestering me.. so try to see if others will watch the dog for me, but it will always come back to me in the end.

It runs away sometimes, but it knows its way home. My dog sleeps sometimes too, and it is even in a forgiving mood, but I can never get used to it taking breaks from pestering me, because after all this is My Mean Dog.

I wish I was as strong as you guys on here. Your so beautiful and inpirsing. I never told anyone this but I love to run. It makes me feel free and it's the only time I can breathe. Thank you guys for saving my life. Now whenever I feel bad I'm going to just run and relax.

How much I care. I cannot express emotions anymore.

That I'm actually a pretty cool person

I guess the one thing my depression hides is the fact that I am depressed. I go about my day, perform most of my social tasks, help those that ask me for help, and I get decent grades. I am always exhausted and it takes me awhile to get up and take care of myself. When people ask why I'm not talkative, I just tell them I was up all night studying so I'm super tired. They buy it and I'm glad they do because I don't enjoy being overly emotional with people. However, when I ask for a break or help, I feel like I come across as selfish for wanting to take a break. Someone I know got angry at me for wanting a break and not being able to be physically present for a group meeting because I "made a commitment". It fucked me up and still fucks me up and I don't really talk to her unless I have to and once I'm done with the group, I'll never talk to her again. I don't know what to do but I'll never admit my depression to her, social anxiety is all I will offer.

On the outside I may not show or look depressed or act depressed but the question is what does a depressed person have to look like? how do they have to act to make people believe that on the inside they are screaming out for help but on the outside they appear happy and are laughing and joking.

My true self!