my friend might be depressed & suicidal and i don't know what to do
I have this one friend that I am very close to. She's very funny and she's nice to me. But what scares me so much is that she sometimes says that she hates her life, she wants to die and she doesn't want to live anymore. But she always says that with a laugh or a smile so for a moment I thought she wasn't serious. But now the problem is, she could be serious, but she was just trying to hide this. What if she's actually depressed and suicidal? What if one day she can't take it anymore and the worst case scenario happens? It makes my depression worse too, because I'm terribly sad if she's this way. She's very important to me and I love her so much. I am scared to talk to her. What if she's actually not being serious and she might think i'm weird for asking her? I don't want to lose her either way.
Hi Jo!
Yes, it would be terrible to lose her. If she says she hates her life and wants to die then she must have those thoughts, even if she only has them for a moment. She cannot think you are weird for asking her about something she herself said to you.
Perhaps she might value talking about her life and why she hates it to listeners here at 7 Cups. You, too, can talk to listeners here about the whole issue and why it scares you. For example, you could send a message to Ari who has replied to you here in the forum, or to me (although I am on a break and not often online).
@Hydrangea03 @RainbowAri
@Hydrangea03
Hi hydrangea
suicide is a terrible thing. my husband and i just lost our friend three days ago because he took his own life. he had come to us for help and we supported him for 3 weeks up until he ended his life this past saturday. all of our friends are grieving so deeply, it is truly heartbreaking. i have come to learn a few things during this process: i am so grateful i could talk with him these past few weeks, and took his depression seriously and helped in any way i could. I am grateful we were all able to show him love and kindness when he couldn't give to himself. and most importantly, we did nothing wrong and we could not stop him from this terrible decision he made. there was nothing we could do. what i am trying to say, is that you could tell her it makes you sad that she says those hurtful things about herself because you care about her. ask her if she really means these things, and if she does, then tell her there is help out there for her and that u love her and care for her. most importantly you have to care for yourself. if this triggers depression in you, then you must take care of that before u take care of her. i struggle with these issues as well, that is why my friend had turned to me for help. after his death i felt guilt because i felt i should have done more, but this is untrue. i had no control over what happened. i hope this helps, and remember to be kind to yourself. :)
