Failing school miserably
ive been battling depression for about a year and a half now, I’ve also been diagnosed with anxiety and PTSD. This year has been mad tough, I have no friends at school, my class are getting more and more tougher. I’ve been struggling and failing both math and biology. I’ve been taking meds occasionally and going to therapy once in a while. However, nothing seems to be working or improving I feel like a lost cause.
I’m a high school freshman (grade 9) and my parents received a call yesterday informing them that I failed my biology exam and need to retake it. I’ve been studying all day today spending 7+ hours trying my best to study before the exam. My parents are deeply upset with me and my mother is giving me the cold shoulder I’m having numerous panic attacks and anxiety attacks and meltdowns over and over. If I fail the exam I fail the year and will have to repeat it or I’ll get expelled/kicked out of my school, and my reputation and chances of getting into a good college will most likely decrease.
I’m so panicked because I’m afraid the school will call again and say I have to do another retest for another subject like math because i know I did awful in math so I’m so incredibly mortified that I’ll have to retest another subject My parents will actually flip if one more thing goes wrong they’ll take my phone and books away and I really don’t want that to happen
Tomorrow is the last day they can call for another resit after tomorrow if nothing Is called I’m off the hook but I’m so incredibly scared they will call like I can’t even sleep and I genuinely feel physically ill
And I’m so afraid something worse will happen like what if I have to repeat the year? What if the school kicks me out? What if I get expelled due to my bad grades I’m so incredibly scared And if I have to repeat the year I’ll be transferred into another school a worse one and I’m so so so afraid.
It’s my last straw, my parents will flip on me I’ll literally get killed I feel like my life will just be over
@Taintedrose112 I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult time. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of pressure and stress, both academically and emotionally. It's important to remember that you're not alone in this and that there are people who can support you. Firstly, try to take a deep breath and find a moment of calm. Panic and anxiety can make it harder to think clearly and find solutions. Remember that your worth as a person is not defined by your grades or academic performance. Consider reaching out to a trusted adult, such as a teacher, counselor, or family member, who can provide guidance and support during this challenging time. They may be able to help you communicate your struggles to your parents and find a way to address the situation together. Remember that seeking professional help, such as therapy or counseling, can be beneficial. A therapist can provide you with coping mechanisms and support for managing your depression, anxiety, and PTSD. They can also help you develop strategies for dealing with academic stress.
Thank you so much for responding, this reply truly put some comfort into me. <3 I will keep your words at mind
@Taintedrose112
Hello Taintedrose112, sorry to read about all you are facing lately, it's really a difficult moment.
When things are difficult it would be important to have a good and strong support, it's sad to read you got cold shoulder instead. You are clearly giving your best, which is what counts most in every context and in life. Right now it seems like nothing works, because things are objectively negative, but I am sure your good attitude in giving your best, will be rewarded at a point.
Do you have a B plan in case you will have to go to a different school?
Would it change your goals and work projects after graduation?
Hope to hear from you soon and even if it's a little, please accept my best wishes and good vibes that I send you throught the screen 💙
Thank you so much for replying, where I am scholarship rates are very very low, I hope to study abroad to pursue my dreams of becoming an author and attending a liberal arts university. If I fail this year it’ll ruin my chances immensely of getting a scholarship and that’s honestly the only factual way of going to an abroad college where I am (besides obviously paying for it, which I can’t because I don’t exactly come from a wealthy or a well off family)
im less afraid of repeating the year more than I am scared of getting kicked out of the school itself for it wouldn’t look all that good in my resme. <3
@Taintedrose112
Yes I understand it would be better to pass in order to accomplish your goals.
Then let's wait to see how it goes, we can face the outcome together later on. Don't feel alone, we are here for you too!
thank you truly your replies mean a lot <3
I'm really sorry to hear that. I have just finished high school and I've been in the same situation where you are rn. This may sound generic, but you need to know that you are capable of anything in this world. You are capable of learning math and biology, and you WILL get through this. If you ever need help in math, I'm willing to tutor, you can just put your math problem on this thread itself, and I will help you to the best of my abilities. Try talking to your teachers if you are struggling, your teachers are there to help you understand the material. I hope things get better for you <3 Take care, chin up soldier!
wow, thank you so much for offering, I might take you up on that thank you truly <3. I appreciate it endlessly and I’ll keep your advice in mind
I am so sorry that you are struggling. Have you told your therapist about the panic attacks? They can cause serious exam problems. Your therapist might be able to arrange for you to get more times on exams, etc. Your parents might also be more understanding if they realize that the problem is psychological. Sometimes you can try your best and still do bad. @Taintedrose112
My parents understand my problems are psychological, they’ve been treated me like a hospital patient for years (which sucks) but when it comes to my grades they don’t seem to be so understanding unfortunately, thank you so much for your response <3
They might be forced to understand if you had someone sit down and tell them what test taking is like for you. I would ask your therapist, psychiatrist or doctor to do this for you. It can really help you get the accommodations that you need to succeed. This is coming from someone who teaches and deals with student accommodations all the time. @Taintedrose112
I can understand your struggles in school after diagnosis. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was still in elementary school. I often had panic attacks where I'd become short-of-breath, needing an inhaler to calm myself. When I entered high school, I was clearly not academically smart either. Over the 4 years in high school, I failed Math 3 times, and Chemistry once. I was still able to finish and graduate without being suspended or kicked out of school.
I relied a lot on a counsellor in school in those years, as I did not have any support from my family, so they did not offer to find any professional help for me. They did find some math tutors, and my brother helped me with Chemistry. (I also found some help from a Math teacher, I met online, when I joined some Depression Support Groups. He even mailed me a package that he used to help prepare his students for exams. So, that gave me a lot of extra equations to practice with). I literally believed the teacher only passed my Math course, because of the effort I actually put into it on the final exam. As I passed the course with just 52%.
When you study for an exam, try to study in blocks/chapters/topic. Cramming 7 hours before an exam will only overwhelm your brain, and rather than remembering what you've studied, you may end up mixing information together and get confused when it comes to answering questions on the exam itself. Are there any peer studying groups in school that you can join? If you're not afraid to ask for help, teachers are often more than happy to help you with understanding what you're struggling with.
Focus on the present, study for your Math and Biology. Unfortunately with Math, all the formulas, it's basically pure memorization and learning to apply it to a variety of ways of having the question presented to you. So, it's all about practice and doing the questions over and over again, until it's engraved in your mind how to solve a question. Don't worry about something that may or may not happen (repeat a year or be expelled).
Don't be too hard on yourself. You're only at the beginning of your high school journey. By the way, does your school offer summer school? That way, even if you failed a class in the school year, you'll be able to take it as a summer class and not have to worry that it'll affect or delay your normal school year progress.
@Taintedrose112
