HeLp!
I m afraidd i m getting bad at holding myself. To divert myself, i started doing cheap things and started talking on stranger websites. I can'tt literally talk to my parents about this. My parents worry when I say things about like this. My head is constantly telling that I am pretending but I am not i really don't. Friends are really supportive but I can't talk to them too about this. My Only hope now are my parents and my siblings n i m afraid that the rope is getting thinner day by day. When I said things about like this on stranger site they said you are trying to make yourself sad. She said I am not worthy of love. I can't speak but write because it's me. Tired of pretending. And tired of assuring myself that everything is going to be okay. And suddenly I got suecedal thoughts and day by day it got very adicting. I even atempted them but it unfortunately was not successfull. I want to change but I don't know how ,I want to speak out for myself but I don't know how, it's just so difficult maybe everyone's life is. Am I over reacting? I just don't know. Sometimes I want to get into a axxident and forget everything that happened in my life ,literally every single thing. But The inner voice tells me that I do deserve every single pain I am sufering now. Just so difficult to manage me and her, she takes control over me and dominates me whenever she gets the chance. I don't even know what it is , maybe it's just maybe it's just my griif. The griif I am referring to happened many years back when I was so small when I didn't get to my right senses. But why is it coming all overnow? Am i really pretending? I got addicted to bad things due to her. I clearly didn't like those things but she insisted to get used to them. Really hope that it isnt deprettion. I really want to cry out so loud like aaahhhhhhhhhh jst kill me man, y r u making me go through this this. Then she answers you desrve this paiin. I want to cry just cry out loud not worrying my parents would hear my voice ,or neighbours thinking that my parents don't love me properly. I want to dy and go to him and cry like it was hard and i struggled to express but i failed i m a clear faillure in everything i do.
Whats wrong
Idk it jst hurts af. I wanna take a break i don't want to do anything i jst want to sit without talking eating sleeping listening. I m tired
It is depression and it is a pain that you don't deserve. But you can find a path out of it. It starts by really telling the people around you how badly you are suffering. You should do so as soon as you can. @lightDog3095
NO.. You can't, literally, say that. It hurts. I really don't want my condition called depression. I m really afraid i just don't know. Uffff...it jst can't be depression. No..
I am so sorry that those words hurt you. What makes the idea of depression hurt so much? I can understand that it makes things a bit rougher, but it would be great to know what that word means to you.
Depression isn't a death sentence. It is something that you can work through and get much better at handling. The world can even seem light again.
For me, it took a while to accept that I had a medical condition. It isn't just a mental condition. It is brain waves that aren't firing properly. It isn't your fault. @lightDog3095
Somebody in my family died n he suffered frm depression. People around my family thought he is just crazy and blamed his parents for not giving attention to him. Even my family thought the same and reacted that he wasn't strong enough and scolded that he didn't care about his loved ones.
I m afraid they would react the same if i told about me to them. I m afraid if they say same words to me, ik it wud get worse...enough worse things are going on i don't want to add up more.
Depression does run in families. I am so, so sorry that they had such a poor reaction to your relative. I can easily imagine how that is scaring you.
When people don't understand how depression operates and you are suffering from it, you can get hurt.
Are there ways for you to start seeking support without your family knowing? A good friend, a teacher or a doctor? @lightDog3095
No i don't want to make her worry about me. They are facing enough challenges i don't wanna say it to them too. None in the teaching field or a doc. Once,I ,actually,tried saying this to my friend. I couldn't tell her. I may never tell about me to my people. I fuking called and tried saying and i prepared myself to say it to her but i just said some other things. I couldn't say it to her.
Ok, then for right now keep coming here. Do it daily and write anything you are feeling. You are anonymous and no one is going to judge you.
That will hopefully give you the strength to tell others because you have practiced it here.
But also never let yourself get to the point where you are so desperate that all you can imagine is doing something that would change your life and the life of those around you forever.
You can find your way back but it takes tons of work and lots of support. @lightDog3095
hi. I understand that, I was like that too. Matter of fact I still am. Listen you're an amazing, beautiful soul for not wanting to burden others more. That's an incredible thing, not everyone has that. but sometimes, it's okay to put yourself first. It's okay to be a little selfish, its NOT EVEN SELFISH if u need help and want help. Just, I'm here if you ever wanna talk abt it alright? And i rlly doubt your family would react like that again if they knew you were being serious.
just put yourself first for once. Trust me. You'd help them thru their ups and downs, correct? They should at least attempt to help you too
:)good luck!!
hi. I understand that, I was like that too. Matter of fact I still am. Listen you're an amazing, beautiful soul for not wanting to burden others more. That's an incredible thing, not everyone has that. but sometimes, it's okay to put yourself first. It's okay to be a little selfish, its NOT EVEN SELFISH if u need help and want help. Just, I'm here if you ever wanna talk abt it alright? And i rlly doubt your family would react like that again if they knew you were being serious.
just put yourself first for once. Trust me. You'd help them thru their ups and downs, correct? They should at least attempt to help you too
:)good luck!!
@lightDog3095 I’m sorry you are suffering. I don’t think you should pay too much attention to a diagnosis from people on 7 Cups unless they happen to be a licensed therapist. Sometimes we all have periods in our life that really suck and it can be really helpful to call a cri sis hot line just to have someone hear what we are going through. When this happened to me I was really grateful that someone was there to listen. So I’m glad you’re here. The cri sis lines I called also had a text chat so I used that as well. They are actually highly trained folks (unlike the listeners here who can sometimes not be very helpful).
Yes i tried it. They said it's only for US veterans. There are no hotlines for my country even if there are some they arent picking up the calls. Thankyou for taking time and understanding me. I really appreciate that.
@lightDog3095I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. Your pain is real and you don’t have to face it alone. You deserve kindness and support. It’s okay to ask for help—you matter so much. Please keep holding on.
