Intro

Hi, I'm Sofia (She/they) and I'm new here. Weirdly I barely use social media or share much online, but I am trying this out because I feel completely alone in my life and I can't keep going the way things are. I have handled sh*t on my own and basically had to be the adult since I was 12. I have been depressed for many years now and I've just accepted that I will always feel this way.

I was watching this video the other day (I think it was *** idk) and this person asked "Who do you call when you are at your lowest? Who is that one person?" and there were a bunch of other videos stitched in after of just guys saying "Nobody." It made me realize that though I've spent my whole life trying to do right by other people and have good relationships and show people love, I don't have anybody I can call either. I have reached those lowest points and somehow survived those moments completely alone. And I hate it. It made me feel like I failed myself because the one thing I've always valued and wanted most in life is close bonds with other people. Ultimately, I think that's what made me sign up for this.

Recently something that has been really concerning me is that I can't listen to any music anymore because it all irritates me. Music has always been the one thing that would make me feel good, or at least occupy my mind and let me go somewhere else when I needed it. Honestly, I don't think I would be here without music. I know it's probably just the phase in my depression that I'm at right now, but it's never gone on for this long before.

Also, I'm LGBTQ+ which is normally not something I talk about much or highlight about myself when meeting new people. However, it's a big part of who I am and how I see the world and I would love to be able to talk to people in the same community because I think I really need that.....

I am sharing a few of my favorite songs from different points in my life just because why not?:

- Don't you worry 'bout a thing - Stevie Wonder

- Heaven- Talking Heads

- Lived and Died Alone- Lindi Ortega

Again, I'm a newbie so if anyone has advice about even just using this platform, would be grateful. If anyone wants to talk about anything; maybe there's something you feel like you relate to or you wanna just talk about music or movies/tv that you love/have helped you I'm always down. I'm very bad at initiating conversation but once I DO start talking this b*tch never stops lol.

Thanks sm for reading, I know it was a lot and all over the place, kinda just how my brain works.