Finding CBT frustrating
I have panic disorder. I also have multiple sclerosis. I've had panic attacks for about 15 years ago. How long have I had MS? I'm not really sure, but I was diagnosed in January.
I've been in cognitive behavioral therapy for about two years and it hasn't really helped. Identifying my triggers? I don't really seem to have any. Controlling my thought patterns only seems to help minimally. My panic attacks occasionally seem to begin when I'm having a flare-up. Possibly because of some subtle change within my body, but when something big and new happens, like when my parasthesia began or when I lost partial vision, I handled it pretty well. I handle most things pretty well - when I'm not going through an episode.
A part of me is pretty certain this is biological. To minimize symptoms in MS, they give you corticosteroids. When I have a panic attack, cortisol shoots through my body. Is the cortisol because of the panic, or is my panic a reaction to the cortisol? I have cataracts. The eye doctors asked if I've ever been on long-term steroid use. I haven't. Not yet.
The bottom line is, all the literature tells you you can control your panic. What if you're like me and your brain is literally under attack? Then what do you do?
I can relate to that. I get prodromes of attacks for my hereditary angioedema that include mood changes. Often it's anger or sadness, but I also get a sense of doom anxiety feeling.
I think therapy can be beneficial and I think it helps if you and your therapist recognize that your MS interplays or at least might be connected with the anxiety.
For me, just recognizing a prodrome has been helpful. I've had attacks my whole life, but it's only been a few years of knowing what's going on. I do find that it's somewhat calming knowing the why when a prodrome hits. I also find having a plan in place for dealing with my attacks is beneficial, I can focus on that.
I don't know what would work for you, especially as your flareups are going to be different with less of an acute treatment the way my HAE has or something else like asthma or anaphylaxis. I hope you can find better coping methods along with your therapist. Some ideas off the top of my head in a very untrained capacity for this kind of thing would be
- acknowledge the possibility, it's related to a physical change in your body
- if the MS symptoms aren't occuring at the same time as the anxiety, note down somewhere the date and time, it can be a reminder to watch for symptoms afterwards and it may allow you to form some patterns
