Im so tired

I have an invisible physical disability (rare to the point the doctors don’t have a name for it but it’s legally recognised). I feel like a big majority of my trauma stems from my experiences w my disability. Ive always felt unworthy because of it. Ive spent most of my life feeling like im faking it because everyone else looks like me amd can do things that I can’t do and almost everyone has forgotten at times that im disabled (including some of my family). It messes with my brain so much. This is only one of the psychological issues I get. I feel like my body’s lying to me. Ppl where I live look at me like im weird when I go uo stairs or smth. I just stare straight ahead but it gets to me easily. Everytime someone starts to talk to me abt my disabikity (even just if it’s a question) I always have to brace myself and prepare for judgment. Ive bullied abt it in my past. Ive literally had too many accounts of my past friends pretending to race me (they all knew I am disabled) and would just run away knowing full well that I can’t run after them. I just wanna scream but I can’t cuz I don’t have time and no one realises the true pain it takes (not physical pain) to get uo and just go out. I don’t even use my physical aid when my legs get shaky and unsteady cuz I tried that once and just got non verbally judged by bassically everyone so now I just risk the possibility of collapsing and getting paralysed for a while.