SSI/Disability So Tired of it

I've been trying to get disability for a while now.  I unfortunately don't have a work history so was trying for ssi and/or disability under my parents income as I was disabled before 22.  My parents didn't know about child disability so didn't apply for me.  So proving I was disabled before 22 is pretty much impossible.  I do have most of my medical paperwork from then so I was hoping though not sure if I filled out the right paperwork.  I got denied at first so with the help of someone got a lawyer.  Sent everything the lawyer ask for.  Got a hearing before a judge.

Went to the hearing, found out the lawyer somehow didn't give the judge any of my doctors paperwork, judge gave extra time to send it, sent it, was found partially favorable.  Was supposed to start getting ssi, but ssi said I had to many resources aka my life insurance.  Got proof I couldn't borrow/take money from it, or even canceled it.  Sent letter from insurance, was told they never got it, sent it again, same thing happened, sent it a third time and my insurance actually called them and also sent it to them.  SSA then send to much time had passed and I have to refile.  So I did.

Went through all the work again, the ssa sent a letter for me for a doctor they wanted me to see.  My friend took me.  The doctor looked at my medical reports, said I should have been on disability when I was a child and should have no problem getting approved.  Got my new doctor to fill out paperwork.  Got my disability placecard.  Went to physical therapy again, got a new backbrace.  Was denied, appealed.  Had a hearing, couldn't find email for hearing, called about email, was told hearing was to late as I was 15 minutes late.  Had to send in reason why I didn't show, was denied reason, had ssa look at reason, they said I was in time with the reason I didn't show and made a new date for hearing.  Had hearing today.  Judge said I should get a lawyer, also said he couldn't do the hearing today do to a meeting he has coming up.  

I'm just so tired of it all.  I've sold almost all my old stuff just to pay for things I need, I'm only lucky at the fact my father lets me live with him otherwise I'd be out on the street.  I have had a friend say to make a fundraiser but just the though makes my anxiety skyrocket, not to mention do to anxiety I don't really know a lot of people.  I don't think I even know 10 people besides family who just the thought of telling them makes me sick.  I hate living off of my father who is retired/widow.   He can't afford much as he is on a fixed income.  Sorry for the rant and thank you for reading.  

PS if you know programs that help with money please let me know.  I do have snap, I buy clothes at thrift/goodwill stores.