Coping with change

A year and a half ago, I got HSP Vasculitis. It quickly turned into kidney failure and unknown to me at the time, I was slowly dying. Couldn't do anything for myself. I gained so much fluid I could hardly walk, I couldn't shower or wipe myself. I was in so much pain. I couldn't eat or drink without throwing up. I even went to the doctor and he had the audacity to say everything was fine. Three days later I was in the ER. I spent 2 weeks in the hospital. They said if I would have waited another week I would have been dead. So much was wrong. But I got better. Went through dialysis. They still had hope that maybe my kidneys wouldn't give out. Well here I am now, end stage kidney failure. It's been over a year and I'm struggling with the changes. Dialysis 3x a week. Feeling like utter crap. Sleeping half my life away. Not being able to do what I use to. Body changes. Everything. I'm struggling.