New in the group
Hello, my name is Ana, I'm 24 and have just recently been diagnosed with glioblastoma. I had a surgery and will start with radiation and chemotherapy in one week. I signed up on this site to find some emotional support but I'm not sure how to approach to it. I really struggle with all of this. I guess that's it for now. Hope everyone is doing better.
@invisiblePuzzle, Hi Ana. So sorry to hear of your diagnoses, but you are doing the right thing and talking about it. i'm new here and it's a great site. Good luck in your journey and if i can help at all, I'm happy to. Stay positive
@kitty54 thank you very much, your words means a lot. I find it hard to reach out for help, as I've been used to cope with things on my own. But I'm nut sure I can fight this by myself. It's overwhelming.
@invisiblePuzzle, what your going through is huge and you shouldn't feel like you have to do it alone. There are so many support groups out there for that exact reason. It's healthy to reach out. You must have so much going on in your head, have the doctors put you in touch with any support groups? Knowing your not going through this alone, is a big thing. I know when I was ill, everyone kept telling me I was so brave.... but I wasn't, I didn't choose the illness, but what I did was chose to face it head on, not that I had any other option. Is there one thing that's overwhelming you that you can start to discuss? Perhaps lighten the load to start
@kitty54 I struggle to gather my thoughts into a meaningful reply. With the therapy starting on Monday, I'm trying to get my strenght together, but the fact that something is counting down my remaining days always punches me back. Something just took control over my life and I can experience it everyday as there are some tasks I am not able to do anymore. Accepting all this just seems impossible.
@invisiblePuzzle, oh, wow, you have so much going on in your head. But whether you know it or not, you are coping really well, your thinking, your talking, you can see that you have not accepted what is happening. That is all normal and healthy, the loss of health (permanant or temporary) is a process like grief and there are stages you will go through in this journey which your on. Acceptance is one of these stages. If your stuggling to accept this, you may need to speak with someone. (someone who had this, a therapist, a nurse) Your so young, you've so much flung at you and loosing the ability to do things which we normally take for granted is a huge thing for anyone let alone someone so young. You are stronger than you will ever believe right now, slow things down and take things day by day, hour by hour. I really wish I could give you a hug, but I'm sending you all the positve energy i can muster for you, and in preparation of your treatment on Monday. 
Kitty, there is not enough words to express my gratitude to you. Thank you. You have a golden heart and I wish you all the best on your journey as well. No matter how much the load weights, everybody has to carry their own. The rest are just hopeless tries.
@invisiblePuzzle Hi Ana, i never got notice of your last feed, so sorry....but have gone searching for the thread tonight to wish you luck with your journey starting tomorrow. I will be thinking of you and sending what positive thoughts and good wishes to you. got everything crossed for you. Stay fabulous....
@kitty54, you are truly an amazing person!! Thank you so much!! Well gladly first day is over, I was so nervous that I couldn't close an eye for a second last night and if I wouldn't arrange pick up earlier, I'm not sure I'd even go. But I do feel ok so far. It's hard to process all of this though.
Btw I think you should become a listener.
@invisiblePuzzle, I'm delighted to hear your day went better than expected. The first steps are always the most scary, but look at you, your on your way, you did it and you will do great, even on the bad days, you will know there is a good day due anytime soon :) I'll pop in every now and again on this thread and see how your going. Hope you get a good sleep tonight after going without last night. (and thanks, might do that listening thing :) ) 
@invisiblePuzzle , evening Ana, just a check in to see how your first week went. it will get better. stay strong
@kitty54 thank you for your care. I have been dealing with quiet a few side effects which kept me in bed for most of the time. Finished with second week...5 more to come and then further cycles. As you said, there is no other choice but to hold on.
@invisiblePuzzle great to hear from you. you sound worn and tired. You are on your journey, it was never going to be easy, but so far, you are kicking ass.....(doesn't feel like it but your here, your messaging and your counting down the treatments) it will get easier, but for now, stay strong, kick ass and try to stay positive :) behind you all the way
@invisiblePuzzle hope all is well....I'm not stalking lol...you but just to let you know that I am thinking of you and willing you a speedy recovery. No replies needed, just take my random posts as get well cards. Another week closer to the end of the treatment, one week closer to some form of normality, one week closer to the you who will look back and think, Dang...I kicked ass.... you've got this, know that in the moments when you think you cannot cope, you can, you will, you rock. :)
Good evening Ana, this is your weekly Get Well check in :) I hope all is well with you and you are holding up ok. Am thinking of you :) stay strong, keep going. I hope it is getting a bit easier. Best wishes and will check in again soon hugs...
@invisiblePuzzle good evening Ana, it's been a couple of weeks and I hope things are getting better for you. and if they aren't, I hope the time is passing quickly for you :) Sending you best wishes
@invisiblePuzzle, Hi Ana, it's been a couple of weeks. A quick hello, hope all is well and your treatment and recovery are going well. Be good to yourself, wishing you a speedy recovery :)
@kitty54 hello. I am stunned that you've been still checking on me even when I was not around. I have no words for this, just want to let you know how grateful I am. Lots has happened in the meantime. No matter the circumstances, the beautiful people
No matter the circumstances, beautiful people are those who make a difference if something is worth it or not. So - thank you. I hope things are going well for you!
@invisiblePuzzle, one thing i've learned this year is a kind word and a bit of support are a huge deal in helping others cope with lifes curve balls.... :) so long as your going in the right direction, thats the main thing. I am going in a good direction, most of the time lol....
@invisiblePuzzle
I'm sorry to hear that. If I can't change your status quo, I can only give you a hug. Treatment is a long process that can be painful, painful, and even desperate. You can think of it as if God made a bit of a joke on you. After the joke, the bright future is the compensation for you. Believe me, the future will be better
@gentleWaterfall6853 thank you for your words of support, it means more then you'd think of. It's a bad joke but I've stopped thinking of it anyway, just trying not to waste my time in sorrow. I believe some moments has no expiration date.
Happy new year Ana.... hope 2020 is the year that sees you fit, well and shining. :) Congratulations for coming through and I hope you can look back and see how strong you have been. (Brave is not fitting as you did not choose this, but strong for facing it head on and kicking ass.... now that is impressive) Keep inspiring the world with your strenght.
@kitty54 thank you. I am nowhere close to kicking asses or anything inspiring. Honestly I struggle big time. All the treatment has been stopped as tumour wasn't shrinking and it has only worsen my condition. Quality of life has gradualy declined. I am just unable to gather more positivity or to find a purpose in those times, while waiting inevitable.
I hope things are going well for you, I still think you are an angel.
Take care, Ana
@invisiblePuzzle oh Ana, I'm so gutted to hear that. You are inspiring, even if you don't feel it. Im am so willing positive things for you, your thoughts and your will. You stuck in my head when you put up the initial comment, I don't reply or follow up on everything, that says more about you than me. Anything I can do, small or insignificant as it may seem, I am happy to do, even if it is some random message to know someone is thinking of you. X
@invisiblePuzzle, hey Ana, am thinking of you :) I wish you strength and peace. You have made such a huge impression. I will keep messaging, so you know that you are in my thoughts. (You don't have to reply, I just hope you smile at the madness of a stranger messaging :) and keeping you in their thoughts)
@invisiblePuzzle, Hi Ana. Just dropping by to say hello. I hope your having good days. You are in my thoughts :)
@kitty54 thank you. As the bad days have outnumered good days and loneliness has become a real thing, your words and thoughs bring some comfort. My mind has started losing its grip and I wish I had a chance to control how and when it's gonna end, before completly losing it. I also wish people would be more open to discuss it, as the quality of life should be before quantity. Not feat it, but face it, together. You are not a stranger to me and you certainly bring smile on my face. You are a gift to this world and I hope things are going well for you. Continue to spread the joy*
@invisiblePuzzle Oh Ana, I'm so delighted to hear from you. I am here anytime :) I understand what you are saying and I do agree that quality of life far outweighs the quanity. In this day and age, it should be a topic which is openly discussed and any taboo taken out of it. Sadly the modern world in some countries is far from forward thinking. Don't be lonely, text anytime, I'm here and am more than happy to chat. While I've never met you, I do feel like I have known you??? Possibly the bare honesty you possess, the kindness which comes through, I don't know, I don't understand it.... You will remain in my thoughts and I will continue to message every now and again, just so you know I am thinking of you. Don't worry, if you can't respond, :) Chat soon
Yes, I'm still around :) and pleased to see you. Unfortunately, fear of unknown is the main reason why certain topics are not covered, not only by average people, but medical stuff as well. It would make whole lot of difference. Therefore, this experience is a pure lonely place and it hurts more then physical pain. It probably is ment to be this way. I will never be able to express my gratitude to you good enough, just know that I do and will keep you close and believe in you. Just be yourself, strong and joyful, and never let anybody else say it is otherwise. Take care
@invisiblePuzzle, thanks for talking, for replying. It is bizarre, your so young, but your wiser than most. I'm so annoyed that you don't seem to be getting what you need, for you on a personal level, emotional level. I know it's a no no but if you want to wattsapp, I'm happy to do so, so you can chat in private, and anytime. So, enough about you 😉 it's snowing here, it's so cold, but looks beautiful. I have to drive in the morning so I hope it's not frozen. Both my dogs are asleep on the sofa, long day for them chasing imaginary baddies lol... otherwise, all is quiet this evening here. Night Ana
@kitty54 i have no idea how to connect on here, but you can leave me your contact on ana.brion3@gmail.com. Hopefully your doggies will get enough of rest so will be able to make snowmen tomorrow :) and you take care on the road please. I do envy you a snow though, we only got one day of snowing this winter! Global warming is a real thing :)