I feel a relapse coming on

I am so sorry to hear that your doctors are not taking your eating disorder seriously. Unfortunately to many doctors do not understand how serious eating disorders are, especially if you have other medical conditions. Plus the whole deal of them thinking well the person is underweight but not enough is crazy, eating disorders are more than weight. I am also sorry about your insurance cutting your sessions off. If it is trouble getting yourself to eat (or eat the way you need to) I have found that having meals with others helps hold me accountable (preferably with someone who knows what I am dealing with). I use to over exercise after eating so then I would try to find something to do after eating- a project I needed to do, going shopping for something, calling a friend, etc. I know the mirror is a trigger for me so I have actually covered most of my bathroom mirror with wrapping paper- so all I see is my neck up. Journaling or collaging often help me get the things in my head out. I don't know if any of that is helpful or what you are looking for but I do hope you can get back with a therapist when you get onto the new insurance. Take Care of yourself.

This sounds like a really frustrating situation to be in. I decided last February to begin my recovery officially. A similar thing happened to me where I moved and no longer had the insurance to afford therapy. I did pretty well for awhile before I began to slip up somewhat. I'm happy to report that I'm back on track. The ways I stayed healthy were by taking up new hobbies that required focus (learning new languages, taking free online classes through edX, learning how to embroider, etc.) I also made a point to be around people more and to get out of the house. I definitely struggled at times but I never fully relapsed. Journaling helped a lot, and I also use an art therapy workbook geared towards EDs. I really hope you can find the strength to keep fighting this battle. It's really hard to keep going when people around you invalidate your struggle, but I have faith that you can. Hang in there!

I can definitely relate. I struggled a lot with not feeling 'sick enough' or 'thin enough' to get help. A couple things that helped me were

1. When you're feeling strong in recovery, figure out what you're going to eat for the next day or so. Even cook or portion it if you can. That way, when mealtime comes, you aren't using your eating disorder thinking to define what a portion should be; it's already been decided.

2. Have an activity to do after eating to help calm your anxiety, prevent you from bad habits, etc. This can be as simple as calling a friend or watching a TV show with someone, just something to stall your brain until you can deal with it again.

3. Remind yourself every day that no one else can define your illness for you - you know that you need to heal and what that means for you. And you know your reasons to want to heal. Instead of proving to them that you really were sick, prove to yourself that you really can recover.

You can do this. And any time you need some extra support, you can reach out here. Take care and stay strong!

I feel like I'm going to relapse again too, and I'm scared as hell. I'm scared of relapse because of my fear of vomiting. I never actually vomited when I had anorexia because I was restrictive type and I was super-careful about that vomiting. And now I'm anxious, I kinda want to relapse because I want to be thin But my anxiety is winning, because.. What if I vomit in school ? I'm social anxious too and that would be hell for me.