Why Choose Recovery (anorexia)

Why choose recovery? 
That is a question that has bugged at me for years, and if you are struggling, you know what I mean. You might not want to, you might feel safer stay where you are. You might think "its not that bad," or "I'm not sick enough."

So why choose recovery? 
Not because its easy, because its not. Not because you will wake up one morning and instantly love everything about yourself. 

Recover because it is taking so much away from you. 

All the time, the energy, the constant counting and calculating, body checking, worrying about calories. Is that really how you want to spend the rest of your life? 

Recovery is choosing to get your life back, even if you don't know what that looks like right now. Sure, it will be uncomfortable, and really hard, but its taking back control of your life, rather than letting the disorder control you. 

There is a little voice inside you, somewhere, saying "I'm tired" "what if...(I tried recovery)" That voice, that voice is YOU. The other one, the one that tells you "skip it," "you don't need it" "you'll regret this," that is the disorder talking. 

And don't get me wrong, sometimes it can sound so convincing, it can sound easier, it sounds comforting. 

But choosing recovery is choosing to listen to your own voice, and questioning the disorder. 

Something that is really helpful, is doing the opposite of what it tells you to do. for example, if it tells you to fast or not to eat, go get a snack, eat a meal, kick it in the butt, let it know its not welcome here. 

When you choose not to listen to the voice, you are choosing yourself. 

If eating feels really hard for you right now, I get it, it can be so hard, and you're not alone. Some things that help are: 

- Eating with a distraction (play music or watch a show, or I like to call a friend)

- start with a food that is the least overwhelming for you

- take it one bite at a time

-Most importantly, remind yourself you don't need to "earn" food. 

Choosing recovery doesn't mean making one choice and never struggling again, but it also doesn't mean that it will be this hard forever.

You have to choose it over, and over, but it will be so worth it, I promise you! 

So back to my main question: Why choose recovery? 

choose recovery because you deserve a life that is beyond your eating disorder. You deserve to think about more than food, to feel more than guilt, to exist without fighting yourself, to BE HAPPY! 

If you don't think that you are ready, let me give you a little secret, you will never feel ready. You just have to take a step, and go for it! You've got this! 

And if you need someone to talk to, please feel free to DM me, I'd be more than happy to talk to you! 

Some helpful links to check out: 
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1MnhQnwjxpFnJ3aiK0j9d5OAE1eK7epEX/view
https://www.aba12steps.org/

https://www.7cups.com/forum/eds/General_2454/SupportiveRecoveryContentMasterpost_219511/

this one is really helpful!!
https://www.7cups.com/eating-disorder-help/

P.S. if you're looking for a sign to choose recovery, let this be it, because you've taken the time to read this post, some part of you deep down must think its worth it?