Feeling alone
I've had binge eating disorder for a little over a year. I've gained 20 pounds in a year from it. My boyfriend of three years dumped me Freshman year of college and it felt like my world collapsed. On top of that I was really stressed from school. I'm obsessed with weight and body image, so it seems like the more I eat and the more I gain, I look in the mirror and I get more depressed and anxious and I binge even more. It's a vicious, never ending cycle. I desperately want to be thin and feel comfortable in my skin but it seems like the more I obsess about it the more I binge. I do this thing where I swear I'm going to go on a 500 cal a day diet & exercise starting tomorrow, and so I'll eat everything in sight the night before, and then I don't stick to my plan and get really upset over it and redo the process over and over again telling myself this time I'm actually going to diet and lose the weight, but I just binge again, over and over. I'm stuck in this cycle and I'm scared for my physical and psychological health. This summer my friends want to hangout and drink around bonfires and go to the beach and I don't want to do any of these things because not only do i want to hide my fat body under a rock, I just want to focus on getting my health back, but at the same time I don't want to miss out on being young. Every time I drink I eat greasy hangover food the next day and cheat on my diet which makes me feel bad about cheating on my diet. Not to mention the extra calories from the alcohol. And then I binge again from feeling upset. I feel like when I'm drunk with my friends is the only time I can forget how fat I've gotten and how much I hate my body and myself for what I've done/ am doing to it. I wish I could just pause life and get my shit together and recover and get my weight back to a healthy one. But life stops for no one. It makes it even harder when you don't have a ton of support. I moved in with my 2 best friends this year at school. I won't binge in front of them. I mean I'll watch movies and eat junk food and icecream with them but they've never actually seen me binge or have seen me at my lowest. When I try to come out to them about having a disorder they literally laugh at me and think I'm just over reacting and that I'm a hypochondriac. My mom is supportive to an extent. I don't think she really knows how serious this is for me, but that's partly my fault because I hide it from her for the most part. She told me I should go to a therapist at school and that she'd get me whatever help I need, but I'm afraid to go to a therapist. Mostly because I'm afraid they'll tell me I can't diet, which is the only thing that's going to help me lose weight, and I desperately want to lose weight before I turn 21. But at the same time how can I lose weight when I can't stick to a diet anyways because of this disorder? I'm lost. And alone. And sick of being unhappy and obsessed with my weight. Sick of being fat and depressed.
Guy here: First, if ur boy dumped u cause of ur weight.. ur either wrong, (or) he's an idiot, so to hell with him. Second, i think snacking on healthy fruit throughout the day, plus meals, helps. Keeps ur blood sugar balanced and helps with not wanting a huge pick-up cause u have starved urself. Honestly try it!! Grapes, cut up any fruit and use zip lock containers. Veggies too if u want. U also have to change ur habitual thinking. U have a habit of allowing urself to think negatively about urself. That's not okay.. What u weigh or how much u eat is not as important as how u feel about urself!! If u dont allow urself to be okay with who u r first and take whatever acceptance pain that comes with.., then it's hard to change. It's okay to want to lose weight. It's not okay to be mad at urself cause u want to change some habits. U r who r. THAT'S OKAY!! Thinking negatively about urself as a whole is not okay. The real habit u need is to allow urself is to feel rediculous for having a pore self image. U can change whatever u want about urself, but ur attitude controls ur actions. If u allow ur negative thoughts to define ur psyche, then u have tonovercome those as well. And even if u get to ur goal wieight and goal eating habits, then u don't want to have established a habit of thinking about urself negatively. That's how the habit of never looking good enough occurs and habitual disorders can take hold. It's a habit of thinking and like all habits the earlier u change the easier it is... U need a habit of allowing urself to love urself completely but accepting that the lifestyle changes u want to make rseparate from ur sense of self. In this matter u r either: positive (or) negative. Be positive as realistic is only what u allow it to be. Gd luck!!
@adavi106, one of the things that works with binge eating is distracting yourself. You can try doing other things such as writing, making crafts, drawing, or learning to play a new instruement or anything that keeps you busy and distracted for a while. It may or may not be directly related to weight losing techniques. This will help you feel better about yourself and also keep you from thinking about food all the time. Most importantly, don't see being a little overweight as a problem, unless it is affecting your health in a negative way.
Does anyone have this problem? I try to talk to people sometimes about my binge eating, but I don't get a good response. My husband told me to "control yourself." It hurts. I just don't know what to do....
I know how it feels I try to talk about my problems, and my family says nothing or sayvto me grow up and act your age.
I feel alone with my ED I had one for 20 years started when I was 15 my family doesn't actually know I have one or has ever questioned me about it even doe they see each and everyday how I am physical and emotional having problems. I feel alone and scared.
I so alone and scared don't know what to do
@girlpower1235 - I'm sorry you're feeling so scared and alone. Do you think it would help to talk to someone? If you're not ready to open up to a friend or family member, there are a lot of listeners on here who would be happy to chat and help support you. Take care
@girlpower1235 - I'm sorry you're feeling so scared and alone. Do you think it would help to talk to someone? If you're not ready to open up to a friend or family member, there are a lot of listeners on here who would be happy to chat and help support you. Take care
