gym, food, life balance out of control
I have been working out consistently for the past 6-8 months and have recently began a cut (eating in a calorie deficit, high protein, yadayada)
ive had a history of disordered eating throughout my entire life, but nothing as severe. But I’ve been experiencing a lot of guilt and discomfort whenever I eat above my calorie deficit. I’ve been tracking my calories on an app and it has been making me feel really mixed emotions.
on one hand, I am eating okay. I eat pretty healthy meals and just been overall more conscious of what I’ve been putting in my body— which is good in some ways as I have used food as a comfort for alot of traumatic experiences.
but what’s been making me feel so crazy is just the calorie counting, feeling so meticulous about my calorie count and having to measure every.single.***.thing I put in my mouth, and just my body dysmorphia has made me feel I can’t look in the mirror anymore.
my boyfriend is an avid fitness person and he’s super in shape. A lot of the times I’ve experienced a lot of confidence issues. He’s been really supportive of me and has been understanding of my issues, but I still feel that he would want someone skinnier, prettier, than me even though I’ve actively reminded myself over and over that he’s with me for a reason. I feel so bad that my insecurities has impacted our relationship.
Im just really tired and restless at the same time— I’m aware of my feelings yet I feel powerless on what to do because it’s just a working process. I feel really lonely because i feel almost shameful that I feel this way. This is my first time talking about and admitting about my disordered eating to someone and I just feel very lost.
@shootingstar651
I am all for fitness and i do believe if more people were conscious of what they were consuming many an issue might be avoided.
it can get out of hand and become obsessive....... Do you give yourself leeway in counts and balance it with your activity etc...?
.........i think many focus on items like skinny or a # ....instead of feeling healthy and happy with your body...you BF chose you and while being supportive and he is not pressuring you to be something else give yourself a break and be confident in yourself .........
confidence and accepting of yourself is by far more attractive then trying to fit some make believe # or measurement.
@shootingstar651
Hey, you're doing really good and don't worry too much about calories, think of it as marathon not sprint, just like eating skipping a meal or two won't make anyone skinny same eating some extra calories her and there won't throw you off track, try to build good relationship with your food, think of it as life style, don't think calories restrict you, once you get a idea of different food imagine you can eat anything you like(obviously in right proportions), but you can enjoy everything without fear of being fat, I would say don't be too harsh on yourself, count calories but don't be anxious if you eat little more some day, keep yourself at peace and in long run you'll definitely build a healthy relationship with food also everyone is beautiful in their body, you're taking conscious effort to eat healthy shows you're sincere and already better than lot of people, don't worry of your body, eat healthy with time you'll be better in all ways.