I keep reading that my ED is about control, and that I do it because it's something I can control.
Honestly, I don't feel like I'm trying to get control of anything. I have no idea what the basis of my ED is. I was fat, and I dieted to the point that I was underweight, with the occasional binge. then binges took over my life and now I'm fat again. My food has control over me. I'm so confused.
@optimisticFarm8029
I understand what you mean. A lot of the time, people with eating disorders feel like everything in their life is out of their control, such as abuse, judgment of others. An eating disorder lets them take control of one thing; what they eat. It may be possible that you felt like being overweight was something out of your control, so you took control of it through an eating disorder - if that makes sense. However, if you feel like the description doesn't add up for you, don't worry. Everyone's different and everyone has their own reasons. 