Check-in 12th June 2019

Hi! I just wanna make this post, so ppl can check in if they feel like it.

I feel ok. I have a cheat-day today, so I can eat stuff I am normally not allowed to, so that's good. Gotta self harm later though, as I have to punish myself for "overeating" (even though it's still under [Edited by Erato to omit the number of calories mentioned, 6/14/19] calories).
But I am riding my bike twice a day again. I am not fasting all day anymore, as I figured that I am allowed to eat "watery food" such as watermelon, pineapple, cucumber and strawberries throughout the day. But I will not eat anything else (except when I am having a cheat-day, lol), but that works out quite well, as I don't tend to overeat when I am allowed to eat something.
I have begun eating a little for breakfast again too, as I used to only eat dinner and that was that, which means that I am eating a lot less for dinner too. I think it's good for me. I still have a hard time accepting that I am going to eat breakfast, but I wanna recover, I wanna feel better <3
Still I feel kind of scared as I am going to a bigger party at my family (a baptism for my mom's cousin's son), and we are going to eat with them. AND I'm not sure I can do that. I talked with my mentor about it the other day, but I still feel a lot scared. My close family know that I have an ED, so maybe I can get away with eating just a little, and let it stay with that. I just hope I oughta sit at a table with close family (or closer family), so I can actually eat something. I don't know what I should do, if I gotta sit with distant family :(

How are you guys? Please tell me anything maybe:
- Rate your day from 1 to 10.
- What do you have of plans this week?
- What are you doing in the weekend?
- How is eating?
- Do you feel it's hard to eat among strangers, with friends or with distant family?

- Or whatever you wanna talk about, I will answer you, if you want me to, and try to guide you through whatever is going on :)