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Idk what to do .. TW!!

User Profile: lollllgp
lollllgp June 23rd, 2021

I’ve been struggling with my eating knowingly since November. I’ve had symptoms in the past that were ignored. I starve myself frequently, and when i do eat i feel so much guilt and shame. I sometimes purge too. I honestly feel so lost and helpless. I cant talk to my family which also means i cant go to a doctor to get diagnosed. I’ve been trying my best to just ignore my issues but there is not a day where i don’t overthink about what i’m eating. I became obsessed with reading calories and logging what i eat in a day.

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User Profile: Optimisticempath
Optimisticempath July 9th, 2021

@lollllgp
Feeling cautious about eating habits and keeping tabs on calories all while not being able to talk to anyone about it and not able to go to doctor is so hard to go through :(
How have you been managing everything ?
Won't your family want to look after your health ? Maybe a conversation with them could help feel supported somewhat? What do you think?
It is normal to feel cautious , however since it is affecting you so much it's sad.
I hope you feel better , please continue doing what's necessary for your health 😊
Maybe try to divert mind to other things than food or calories?

1 reply
User Profile: lollllgp
lollllgp OP July 9th, 2021

I haven’t been managing well, ive been having a bad week. I assume they would want to look after me and my health but i’m not ready to open up yet. A part of me is ashamed about the way i restrict food. it makes me feel ridiculous and like maybe i’m just overreacting. I’m scared they will look at me that same way. there’s also a part of me that doesn’t want to stop because even though i am suffering i just want to be skinny and feel accepted.

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User Profile: helpfulWalker1842
helpfulWalker1842 July 15th, 2021

Hey! I know how you feel, I’m very overwhelmed by food and the overwhelm sometimes will prevent me from eating and stress me out for hours. Have you ever watched to “kati morton”? It’s on YouTube, she brings a lot of insight about everything eating disorder related. Maybe you can start therapy without your parents finding out? That Is what I have done