Worried about my secrets
Secretly getting lots of euphoric thrills and a high feeling from being very restrictive and controlled around food and having no-one notice. Except everyone compliments how good my body looks. And it does. And I know how I got it there. And I kind of love that I have this secret that nobody knows how weird I am about food... how much effort and control goes into it.
I've never been diagnosed with an ED before. In fact, I've never really talked about this out loud. But the high feeling is getting stronger as the restriction is growing and my body is getting fitter. And a little part of me knows this probably is starting to lead somewhere a little bit... dangerous? Unhealthy? But another part of me just wants to lean in and see how far I can go...
@redVillage1507
It makes sense that you’re seeing that the energy and focus you’re putting into your diet lately is helping you hit goals, and that can feel like a great win. I can totally hear how finding that sense of control and accomplishment feels amazing right now.
Sometimes that "thrill" can start to sneak in and take over other parts of your life without you even realizing it. If you ever feel like you're starting to lean into it a little too hard, would you be open to talking to a pro just to keep everything in good balance? They might have good ideas for when the thoughts or behaviors are veering into alarming territory, so you can know that would be a time to seek help.
Chatting with a nutritionist or a counselor could also validate that your path stays healthy and sustainable for you in the long run so you can keep feeling this good forever. Having a professional in your corner could be a great way to make sure your body is getting absolutely everything it needs while you chase your goals.
Some of the Listeners here have experience with the ups and downs of staying in balance with eating being such an integral part of being alive. They can be super supportive and patient with you as you find your way to a path that not only feels great for now but also is healthy for you in the long term.
The support forum here where you made two posts that I saw --- I’m only responding to one of them here --- has a lot of resources, tips and ideas including websites that deal with support for eating disorders. One of the first posts on the forum links to an Eating Disorders Care Package. You can find it here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1MnhQnwjxpFnJ3aiK0j9d5OAE1eK7epEX/view
It was powerful and brave of you to reach out here. I wish you all the best as you navigate your next steps.
@redVillage1507
It makes sense that you’re seeing that the energy and focus you’re putting into your diet lately is helping you hit goals, and that can feel like a great win. I can totally hear how finding that sense of control and accomplishment feels amazing right now.
Sometimes that "thrill" can start to sneak in and take over other parts of your life without you even realizing it. If you ever feel like you're starting to lean into it a little too hard, would you be open to talking to a pro just to keep everything in good balance? They might have good ideas for when the thoughts or behaviors are veering into alarming territory, so you can know that would be a time to seek help.
Chatting with a nutritionist or a counselor could also validate that your path stays healthy and sustainable for you in the long run so you can keep feeling this good forever. Having a professional in your corner could be a great way to make sure your body is getting absolutely everything it needs while you chase your goals.
Some of the Listeners here have experience with the ups and downs of staying in balance with eating being such an integral part of being alive. They can be super supportive and patient with you as you find your way to a path that not only feels great for now but also is healthy for you in the long term.
The support forum here where you made two posts that I saw --- I’m only responding to one of them here --- has a lot of resources, tips and ideas including websites that deal with support for eating disorders. One of the first posts on the forum links to an Eating Disorders Care Package. You can find it here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1MnhQnwjxpFnJ3aiK0j9d5OAE1eK7epEX/view
It was powerful and brave of you to reach out here. I wish you all the best as you navigate your next steps.
@redVillage1507
Sorry this was posted twice and on both threads. There must be a snafu in the program!!!!