how do i accept my body?

i am very unhappy of my body. i feel bad about it. my arms and thighs were huge. my stomach wasn't flat. i really hate my body, so i manage to change.

i skipped meals. i have never eaten breakfast anymore. i rarely eat dinner. but still, my body doesn't change. it was fat and i hate it.

i don't like eating sweets and chips and i eat a lot of vegetables and fruits. i am swimming too. but no matter what i try, my body is still big.

seeing my friends, almost all of them being skinny was hurtful. i could say i envy them for having thin bodies without even trying. i felt like i am a big, fat elephant put in a group of skinny, beautiful deer.

even my mom calls me fat. i mean, seriously, even my MOM. she told me that i am fat and she said that fat means ugly. that triggered me the most because even my mother called me fat and told me that my body is ugly.

i do not seem to be able to accept my body. i am ashamed of it. i hate it. i felt like i was trapped inside the wrong body. i felt sick because i skipped meals every day. eating, for me, is toxic.

because i'm 12 now and i know it's the time to decrease my weight and beskinny before i get older. i am afraid to see my friends getting skinnier, while i am here, still fat as well.