EDA Week #2: Body image and Self respect
Group Support organized 2 weeks of Eating Disorder Awareness Week, the focus will be on discussing general awareness, and support, and celebrating milestones and small steps. This will be an opportunity for all of us to come together and extend our support and compassion to all who struggling with eating disorders.
In this post, I want us to discuss body image and self-esteem, two topics that often go hand in hand. We live in a society where we are flooded with images and messages that promote unrealistic beauty standards, leaving many of us feeling inadequate and struggling with our self-worth. Let's face it, we live in a world where beauty seems to be synonymous with a certain body type, flawless skin, and perfectly symmetrical features. But reality is, beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, colors, and forms. It is about time to challenge these standards, cultivate self-compassion celebrate the diversity of beauty, and embrace our unique attributes.
- Recognize that whatever we see in the media is often far from reality. Please know that magazine covers and social media posts are carefully curated and created. They don't reflect the everyday lives and bodies of real people. So, comparing ourselves to these images is not only unfair but also bad for our self-esteem.
- Instead of focusing on our perceived flaws, shift attention to our inner qualities & skills. Please know no matter who you are, you deserve love, support, and respect. Whether you have curves, scars, stretch marks, or wrinkles, these are all part of your unique story. Embrace them, for they tell tales of strength, resilience, and the journeys you've embarked upon.
Self-compassion is a significant step. It is about being kind to ourselves, accepting our imperfections, and understanding that we are so much more than our physical appearance. Please know you are worthy of love and respect, regardless of your size, shape, or any other external factors.
- One way to cultivate self-compassion is through positive affirmations. Take a moment each day to look in the mirror and appreciate yourself. Instead of focusing on what you perceive as flaws, focus on the things you love about yourself. It could be your smile, your eyes, or even your sense of humor. Remind yourself that you are beautiful just the way you are.
- The next step is to surround yourself with a supportive community. Connect with like-minded individuals who share your values and beliefs. Engage in conversations that uplift and inspire you. Together, we can create a space that celebrates diversity and challenges the narrow definition of beauty.
- Please understand that beauty is not a one-size-fits-all concept. It is time to break free from the chains of unrealistic beauty standards and embrace the beauty within ourselves and others. Let's challenge the status quo and create a world where self-compassion and acceptance reign supreme.
Body image and self-esteem are deeply interconnected to cultivate self-compassion. By recognizing the flaws in the media's portrayal of beauty, embracing our unique attributes, practicing self-compassion, and surrounding ourselves with a supportive community, we can break free from the shackles of unrealistic beauty standards and embrace the beauty that resides within us all.
You are beautiful, just the way you are.
EDA Week #1: Breaking the Stigma
@ASilentObserver Your dedication to organizing Eating Disorder Awareness Week is truly commendable. The emphasis on body image and self-respect is a crucial conversation that needs attention, and your post beautifully navigates through the challenges many face in a society obsessed with unrealistic standards.
@intuitiveHickory85 Thank you so much, Hickory! It means a lot to me that you found it powerful and impactful. 😊 I hope that more people can find the courage to speak up about their struggles with body image and eating disorders.We need to work together to break down the stigmas surrounding mental health and create a safe space for everyone to heal and grow.
What are your challenges with body image/ self-esteem?
My challenge is a perceptive mind paired with unhealthy boundaries from trauma. I'll entangle myself in another's business even though I know better because it's deeply ingrained in my being and survival patterns. Ironically, then the guilt and shame drives me to self harm and destroy myself through eating poorly and otherwise.
What is one step you're practicing or can practice?
I'm not really practicing 'one thing' but rather systemically analyzing and studying research, goal setting and journaling using multiple resources and integrating what is and isn't working while adjusting and adapting to solutions.
@communicativePond1728 that's awsome ❤ I'd love to hear what you've learnt from your research so far ❤❤
@communicativePond1728 Thank you for sharing this. It takes courage to open up about these challenges. Your awareness of your struggles and efforts towards growth are commendable.
@ASilentObserver I'm extremely lucky to have struggled only limitedly with my body image. To me, it is more like details, like my messy eyebrows I used to hate or the tiny frown wrinkles on the forehead rather then my weight. Granted, I have a figure of a box, but it also didn't torment me for a long time, more like a short time as a reaction to a trigger. I was extremely fortunate to grow out of it tho and even this little self esteem issues are slowly going away.
What helped me:
- approach of gratitude that is focused on the body. It is done by asking what does my body do for me? And then searching for things like my hands let me do my embroidery or other hobbies. In next step, ask yourself what do you like about the way you look. Can be as tiny details as having a cute pinky on your left foot, or stuff like your hairstyle, anything goes.
Once you got the good and the body work stuff covered, time to level it up on reframing the things you dislike about yourself. Like for example, if you hate your belly, reframe it to it holds my devouring system and processes the food I eat so I can be healthy and have energy for things. If it is a feature, like some wrinkles, reframe it to yeah I felt a lot of feelings, and that's ok. I laughed a lot, I cried a lot, I was mad. That's how things should be. These wrinkles are a testimony of what a rich life I had and how many hardships I overcame. If it is a feature, it makes you unique. If it is hair turning gray, you were given a privilege to get to this age, that so many don't have. These reframings helped me so hard.
- About seeing someone having the ideal body or looking the way you wish you looked, it is important to be aware how much work goes into that. They probably have to exercise a lot, maybe have a special diet, maybe have an hour long skincare routine... You never know. It is important to remind yourself that they didn't just appeared on earth like this and there is a lot of work behind it. It is worthy of respect if someone is doing it, as it is usually very time and money consuming and requires a huge discipline, and that's ok. Everyone is free to make their own choices and if this makes them happy, great ❤️ rather then with envy, look at them with inspiration. Maybe they will inspire you to try a new skincare routine or try a new make up style. Maybe they will inspire you to do a cool new sport. And maybe you will look at the entire list of things that realistically go into looking like that and go nahh. I'm not doing that. That's ok too, we are in the same boat with that 😄
- that said, if you don't feel inspired by them, that's ok too. In that cases I follow accounts that make you feel horrible about yourself and cut back on your social media use, you will see, it will do wonders ❤️
- build a positive attitude to aging. This thing Is superior. Once you make peace with the fact that you are very lucky to achieve the age you did, and how it is ok for your body to change, you will be much more in peace with your looks
- focus on what's inside rather then outside. Sounds cliché, but trust me. People who love you will love you no matter how you look. Also, if you are not looking like the beauty standards demand, it will help you filter out quite a lot of shallow people, and in embracing your unique type of beauty and looks, attract much more genuine friends and partners. Your body is supposed to change, and you really don't want to be around people who will make nasty comments when you gain a little weight or have a few stretch marks. In fact, a good partner will love you with all those things and what you think about as a glitch will be considered a feature by them that they absolutely love.
- lastly, remember that it gets better with age and this won't last forever. You can speed it up by reframing your mindset by using some of the exercises I mentioned above, or some other ones that work for you. These exercises need to be repeated for them to be effective, but remember. No two people are the same and what worked for one doesn't have to work for another, so don't get discouraged if something doesn't work for you, find your own path to self acceptance. You got this 😊
@sadcat13 autocorrect did me dirty, I means unfollow accounts that make you feel horrible about yourself 😭
@sadcat13 haha! I didn't even notice you wrote did me dirty😂😂 I normally notice those things and have a little giggle . But it's cool 😎 I'm giggling now😂😂😂
@sadcat13 ok I can do that. I can't do what most people suggest look in a mirror and say kind things about your looks. But changing my mindset, well just maybe that will help ❤
ok um I don't have normal hands I'm missing most of my fingers now. But my hands help me do art and crafts, which I love to do and an very proud of. Also I get to type with my middle finger, so I'm secretly flipping you all off as I type 😁😁
that's all I can think of right now ❤and I don't use any social media, I only use this site.❤
@Tinywhisper11 that's a great start 😊 maybe you miss some fingers, but the ones you have left allow you to do so much ❤️ also I think you are very pretty if it helps, you always look adorable on your pfps 😊
@sadcat13 Thank you ❤ I'm ok looking from the neck up😁 I used to put pfp of just more than my face, but people on here were not very kind so now I only out head shots, I don't want to be bullied. I love you ❤❤ thanks for saying I'm pretty ❤ and for sharing this technique with me ❤
@sadcat13 It sounds like you have a good awareness of your body image and what you like about yourself. Having a positive view of yourself can make a difference in how you feel. Building a positive attitude towards aging and focusing on inner qualities can also bring peace.
@ASilentObserver tw) my challenges are not exactly I want to look like a model or anything. It's just I was born healthy, people made me disabled. I have no legs, half my fingers we're cut off, my spine is broken, so many scars. Doctors told me it would be a miracle if I live to 40. My eating disorder is trauma related to. So I think I would just like to be healthy, and not a freak😞 I'm trying to work on looking people in the eyes, but it's hard cause I don't know what facial reaction they'll have when they first see me, I don't leave the care home, because I don't want people to bully me or say nasty things. I would just like to be healthy
@Tinywhisper11 *hugs you. Don't worry, you will outlive as all ❤️ Many people have been told that their condition leaves them with only a little time left, and they lived a happy and long life, so nothing is lost🌻
@sadcat13 yeah I'll prove those doctors wrong🙂 my plan is to live forever, so far the plan is working well😂😂😂 ❤
@Tinywhisper11 go for it 😁 spite does wonders to a lifespan ❤️😁
@Tinywhisper11 You've been through a lot, and it makes sense that you'd want to feel healthy and whole. It takes courage to open up about such difficult experiences. What feelings come up for you as you consider leaving the care home and being vulnerable about your appearance?
@ASilentObserver I just don't want to be bullied or hurt
@Tinywhisper11 It sounds like you're concerned about being bullied or hurt if you stand up for yourself. That can feel really scary and overwhelming. Please know we are all here with you, Tiny. you are not alone in this. What would it mean to you to not be bullied or hurt?
@ASilentObserver
When it comes to eating I find myself sometimes feeling guilty for eating unhealthy or obsessing. I am not very tall or overweight, so on some days you can see the difference in my stomach depending on what I eat. For example after a party or restaurant visit. Depending on the food I consume. Bloating I believe it is as well. This makes me more aware of changes in my body and causes more frustration when visible, or the opposite, like after a workout you think all is good again because you see some tone and get a bigger tendency to eat.
Like from a certain angle it can seem like its all going great and I deserve a treat. The other moment in a different lighting or after different type of meal it can feel like I ruined everything. Because of this, often when I get dressed or shower, I don't look down. Especially on days where I know I have eaten more or am bloating. I usually shower after dinner, so this is always an item for me.
One thing I would want to share for others is that a "perfect" body is an illusion, even your own goal of perfection is. Because even if you reach that goal. From that moment on, you're already straying from it. Fitness is not a journey from 0 to 100 and then done. Because on the day you reach your 100, what then? Every day after will make it go away from 100, can be both towards the negative or the positive, don't get me wrong. But it is waayy healthier to aim for a range like wanting to stay between a certain weight range because small fluctuations will always occur because of your last few meals, stress or sleep, can be literaly anything that affects it. This causes more struggles as you can't balance on 100 all the time. It is better to be between 2 limits, or within range of a hole in your belt, a certain feeling when doing activities or look in the mirror. There is a lot of gray area!
@Michelh1996 Thank you for sharing these insights about your experiences with food and fitness. It sounds like you have a complex relationship with your body and food, and that there is a lot of guilt and self-criticism present. It must be difficult to feel so aware of every meal and workout, and to let that dictate your mood.
@ASilentObserver For sure. It seems like there is always a battle between what is, what could be or could have been and what I want. This makes it more difficult to look at long term goals because it puts more focus on short term changes, desires or feelings. And therefore, makes making changes more difficult. Recently this has also made making progress harder, as it becomes harder emotionally and because my feelings about it vary so much, it takes a heavier toll on sticking to it.
@Michelh1996 You seem to be experiencing inner conflict when it comes to long-term planning. How do you feel about weighing the pros and cons of different options?
@ASilentObserver What I find difficult about that is that I am not bad at seeing the bigger picture, and know a lot about the goods/bads and ways to do things but I am forced into habit because of a couple of reasons. One being that I am used to sticking to habits anyway. Others are things like fear of what the change might lead to and the desire to make one more step towards better fitness. Which is all being fueled and tested by my eating disorder...
@Michelh1996 That sounds like you are grappling with some complex considerations related to your eating disorder and fitness goals. Weighing the pros and cons of different options can be challenging when there are many factors involved. Reflecting on both the big picture and your personal experiences can provide valuable insights. What aspects of your eating disorder and fitness journey have been most impactful in shaping your thoughts and behaviors?
@ASilentObserver I think the clear division between "good" and "bad" days has really been formed and this is a bit difficult. So if a day is good, you need to stick to it. But if a day is bad, everything else on that day doesn't really matter as much. This comes with a lot of pressure on good days, and regret/statisfaction/frustration on others.
Also in terms of experience, I know I can lose the weight easy with my exercise routine, I know how to make progress. So this gives statisfaction on one end, but also sometimes an extra reason to eat because I can cancel it out by overworking myself and lose the weight the next week.
@Michelh1996 this is in response to your last comment <3
@ASilentObserver For sure, I am trying to take steps to break this cycle a bit. Because it has become too much of an obligation and a switch between really high highs and really low lows in both directions. But breaking this is so difficult. I saw a therapist for the first time today to talk about it!
@ASilentObserver
What my challenges are with body image/ self-esteem is that I'm an INTJ and ENTP with epigenetic trauma, entangled with the myths and misconceptions as outlined in week one.
So basically I'm unable to understand, respect or love myself due to an inability to feel my feelings as I operate solely by logic.
As trauma isn't logical, you can imagine how well that's working out. (Spoiler: IT ISN'T.).
One step I'm practicing is self compassion.
@communicativePond1728 It sounds like you have a lot on your plate with your INTJ and ENTP traits, epigenetic trauma, and the challenges they bring to your body image and self-esteem. It's commendable that you're taking steps towards self-compassion. Can you tell me more about what self-compassion means to you?
@ASilentObserver
Self compassion to me means acknowledging the parts of myself that may seem ugly, out of place or not okay, accepting them and taking action in the same vein.
@communicativePond1728 I hear you. It sounds like you have a good idea of what self-compassion means. If you could take one step today to strengthen self compassion for yourself, what will it be?
