To eat or not to eat is the question
I haven't eaten in 24 hours and I want to eat but omg I'm so skinny and my belly stays flat but the second I eat that's not the case anymore all I've had is ice water
@brenbird
I am sorry to hear how much you're struggling right now with eating. I get that the ED voice can be pretty strong, even when you're trying to convince yourself that you need to eat something. I am glad you're at least staying hydrated. What normally helps you get food in your body when your ED gets like this?
@Remina nothng
@brenbird
I hear you.
Is anyone around you aware of your ED?
@Remina I mean I sometimes mention that I havent eaten for a whole to my bf but ik he gets it and not to force me to eat
@brenbird
I am glad he does not force you to eat as I know that would just make it worst. What feelings do you feel when you try to eat?
ikyk but u can't like live like that, literally
@yellowBlueberry9735
I am sure that the member is aware that she cannot survive on no food.
@Remina @yellowBlueberry9735
I do know that and im trying and I do get food in me so if yiu dont have anything nice to say, dont say it, bc im already having a bad day
ml I promise I wasn't trying to be rude I was js worried about u
@yellowBlueberry9735
Ok, thanks for clarifying, im not too good with reading words and knowing what the other means and what they dont mean
You haven't eaten for 24 hours and how do you feel when you eat?
@ListeningwithKS
it depends, sometimes my body is like "oo yes foodddddd" and then I put it in my mouth and my body will be like "ewww noooo that's gonna make me feel sick" or I cant find anything good to eat
I am proud of you for getting some food inside you. I know that struggling with an ED can be challenging. Have you ever gotten any professional help for it?
@Remina
No
@brenbird
I hear you. so 7cups is your only source of support right now with this?
@Remina
Correct
@brenbird
Earlier I asked you a question and not sure if you just did not see it but I will ask it again. the thoughts you have about food is it all food, or do you feel it with certain food /food textures?
@Remina
Umm it lowk js depends on the day, sometimes its all food sometimes its certain foods and it always changes
@brenbird
I hear you, that sounds unpredictable then. Do you remember what it was like to not deal with this?
@Remina
Yyeah that was back in 6th grade and it was amazing and I coukd eat so much and not worry bout anything bc I was so skinny then and sure people say ik still skinny but I dont se that everyday
@brenbird
I hear you, it sounds like sixth grade was pretty nice and after sixth grade, your self-esteem took a hit. Do you remember why you started thinking you weren't skinny after the sixth grade?
@Remina
Yyeah, not so much in 7th but definitely in 8th and last year(going into 10th)
@brenbird
I hear you so like 8th grade and up. Can you recall any specific moments where you felt these thoughts the most?
@Remina
Umm especially when I was friends with my ex friends, especially in middle school, and when I was with ny toxic ex
@brenbird
So you had ex-friends and a toxic ex who made you feel like you were not skinny enough and had to do something about it? Are there still people around you who say negative things to you?
@Remina
Yes, and no none of my current friends and my bf dont make me feel bad but bc of my past and things that have been done to me, I feel like I take ip too much space and I dont like how my body looks and ik it wasnt my fault but I coukd still have done something
@brenbird
I hear you. It sounds like their words really stuck with you. It sounds like it was a traumatic experience for you and that it warped your sense of self. It can take a bit to work your way out of that hole. It has only been recently that the toxic people are out of your life, right?
@Remina
Yyeah I broke up with my toxic ex in November, qnd I ended my toxic friendship with this girl Marla, on wedesday
@brenbird
Okay, so the toxicity has been in your life recently, so it makes sense that you still struggle and have internalize their words. It sounds like while you hear your BF and hear that he finds you beautiful, you find it hard to take that into consideration because for the last few years, you have been told the opposite. How does it feel to no longer be friends with toxic people?
@Remina
It feels amazing and freeing
@brenbird
That checks out! it sounds like you're no longer being weighed down. Hopefully, you start to see the changes as time goes on now that you are surrounded by safe people and not going to be triggered over and over again!
@Remina
I hope soo
@brenbird
I will try to check in with you later next week to see how your mood is! :) Feel free to send me a message.
