a little vent abt my relapse
I'm really upset and don't know what to do.
I had anorexia for about 4 years before recovering a year ago, and now I'm in the midst of a relapse and the timing honestly couldn't be worse.
I'm moving out in less than two weeks. I'll be living alone in a country I don't know (which is stressful enough) and I definitely will take the chance to not eat when I'm on my own. I can't afford treatment and I will be studying at university full-time.
I just don't know what to do and I feel v unsafe
the weird part is that I'm not even struggling with body image issues - I think I look fine. I don't know why this is happening
@rainbowelf
You have big changes coming in your life and stresses ...
you may be trying to feel more in control which you might have felt you had during your previous bout of anorexia. in making changes going places out of our comfort zone etc we can not control the stress only learn to find ways to self calm hopefully without returning to a past problem.
Thank you for your reply.
That's very true, and I guess if relapse is inevitable this is the most obvious time for it haha
I am feeling a bit more hopeful now, I'm very lucky to have a loving girlfriend so even if it's long distance, I'm not completely alone in this
@rainbowelf
Going away to university can be a stressful time. Sometimes universities have a counseling center where you can get counseling, get involved in a support group and get some extra help to help you get back on track before you go into a full relapse.
What has helped you with recovery in the past that you've been able to manage in the past when things were stressful? This might be a good time to use those skills.
It's natural and normal that you would feel scared right now, as you will be on your own, away from where your support system is and things will be different.
I'm glad you posted. Please keep doing so.
Thank you for your reply.
I am already registered with disability status at my university (for different reasons) so I think I'll talk to my disability officer about this.
I actually have no idea what made me recover before. It just kind of happened at one point. It was a very weird switch tbh, I was being very anti recovery at therapy for like a year and then suddenly I didn't struggle anymore. That weird switch happened again now: I suddenly struggled again. I have no idea what triggered it
@rainbowelf
If it's something you'd be up to, maybe exploring it with the counseling office at the university or someone of your choice. Seems to me that it is concerning you.
To add on to what others have said, universities sometimes have health services as well! You can potentially look into any student health services just so that you can have a health professional in your corner that can support you through this. You can get through this, you’ve got this!
