Eating Disorder Community - How do you actually feel today?

I'm falling again. I was up to eating not a real good amount but a decent amount. I ate 3 times a day at least something and usually I was eating a full meal at dinner. I would look at every calorie and ounce of fat I was taking in but I could eat. I don't know what exactly started this but I am at point right now where I struggle to eat at all during the day. Getting a full meal rarely happens. I don't even know what to feel, I am just here.

I feel terrible. I got into an argument with my mom about my weight, and I've been eating poorly ever since this. I shouldn't let it effect me, but i always do.