Eating Disorder Community - How do you actually feel today?
I feel I don't know what's a good portion size for me. I'm a 23 years old male, who work out a lot just because he's too afraid of getting fat. Today my family told me that I'm too skinny, I don't know what to do. I don't know why am I so afraid of gaining weight? I think this obsession with a healthy life style has taken over my life and that's the only thing I can think about.
@cgc23 - If the obsession is starting to take over your life, it's time to get some help. I promise these things are easier to get through if you reach out sooner, and reaching out here is a great start.
If you're not sure what a healthy meal plan looks like for you, do you think you could talk to a nutritionist to help you understand what your body needs? I'm not a nutritionist, so I can't tell you specifics, but I know that your body needs carbs, protein, and fat to survive and that particularly when you're on the young side, you may need more food than you think to even just maintain weight if you're also exercising.
Think about whether you feel comfortable reaching out to a professional or talking to others about what's going on - these feelings don't go away on their own and can become quite dangerous, and I just want you to be healthy and happy. Take care, and feel free to message me if you ever want to talk.
I feel awful. About 9 months ago I suffered from an eating disorder and up until recently I maintained a positive attitude towards food. In the past 2 or 3 weeks I have developed a negative attitude towards food, even worse body image and am starting to enjoy the feeling of being hungry again. I'm so worried I'm going to go through another eating disorder
@LostInTheDarkness - It does sound like some of the dangerous thoughts are starting to come back, but the fact that you are reaching out here and that you recognize that you don't want to go back to that place is enormously encouraging. You have been here before, so you know to recognize the signs. And you have gotten through this before, so you know the skills you need. Keep reaching out and build out your support network to get the help that you need. You can do this.
@Anomalia You're often on here being very supportive to this community. Thank you so much for being a listening ear!
How are you doing in your journey?
@BraveMelon7408 - Thank you for asking - that's so sweet! I'm doing well in my journey. After about 10 years of battling it, I can say I'm in recovery for about 2 years now. And while the thoughts still pop up from time to time and I slip every now and again, getting myself back on track is MUCH easier and I can do it within a day or two now. And I can honestly say I haven't been as confident or self-assured as I am now since I was about 10. :)
@Anomalia That's great to hear that recovery is getting easier with time. I wish you the best of luck on your journey!
Miserable. I'm tired of it all.
@OhDraculina - I hear you. This cycle can be so miserable, but it really is possible to break away from it, heal, and be healthy and happy again. You can do it.
Im so hungry but i have eaten so much lately so i have to compensate. Why can't I just eay normally *sigh
@ivorymoon - I know if feels like you have to compensate for eating too much, but that's exactly what sets you up for and keeps you in the binge and restrict cycle. What if instead you forgave yourself and let yourself eat normally today so that your body doesn't feel that need anymore?
Sometimes it feels like all I do is eat. And when I'm not eating I'm thinking about eating....it makes me feel better for awhile, untill I remember why I hurt in the first place. Then I feel worse for eating so much.
@Nova5 - it sounds like there's a lot of emotion that you're burying under the food and the thoughts about it. Have you talked to anyone about what you're feeling underneath all of that? Do you have people you feel like you can trust and open up to? I know you can survive this. Take care
Im unable to talk about my eating disorder because it make my husband feel bad and he thinks it will damage how others see him. Feel trapped with this and no one to turn to. He found out about this site and reads what i write.
@Manga30 - It sounds awfully controlling, but more importantly, you are being hindered in your recovery and that's not okay. A big part of healing is being able to talk about it, and if you can't talk about it with your husband or others in your life, there are other options. You can reach out to a listener here and chat with them (you can even delete the messages afterwards so they can't be read later). You can find a support group full of people who have been or are in a similar place to you (if you're in the US, anad.org has a list, otherwise you can google to find). You can find a therapist to work with on it.
Your health is the most important thing right now and you need to work towards that. Take care, sweetie
I've a question that pertains to my being as of this moment, but I'd like to understand it. Anyone is is free to answer, I simply desire to know how you girls/guys developed your eating disorder, specifically anorexia pertains to me. Any information on that would be good.
@innocencekuchiki - For me, it started as a diet that quickly turned into an obsession, a need for control, and a perfectionist thing where I had to keep eating less and less to feel like I was succeeding. Also, you can check out the introductions thread in this forum or start a new thread and you will likely see more responses! Not everyone reads through this one as thoroughly. Take care
Ah I see I see, I have an odd obsession of desiring to be very skinny, I ate my first meal in a week yesterday and boy did my body react. So I'm starving myself again and such, out of fear and regret.
@InnocenceKuchiki - I can tell you from experience, it's not worth it. It is exciting the first time seeing your body react and losing weight, but you spiral so quickly out of control and lose everything great that you have in your life. I strongly encourage you to get help now to break the cycle before it gets too far out of control. Take care
I must admit it is very exciting, but when I eat not I feel somewhat disgusted afterwards, and I desire to starve myself for a longer period. It's quite odd and I don't really understand if or how I developed such things, for I only starved myself for a week and now it seems I enjoy it. I was surprised though, after the first few days I lost my appetite.
Thanks @ Anomalia i am struggling to just get comfortable on this site and admitting i have a eating disorder to others. My husband feels responsible for my problem and thinks others will think that too.
@Manga30 - It can take some time to get comfortable telling people, and this is definitely a great place to start. And I understand your husband being uncomfortable about it, but ultimately your health is more of a priority than his concerns about people blaming him.
Still, if it's easier to not let people in your life know just yet, there are a lot of places where you can talk to people who understand who don't have to know your husband and thus can't hold him accountable. That might be more comfortable for both of you as a start. Take care and be safe.
Depression and makes me binge binge binge binge. And I didn't succeed , I failed again to become slim. How manySelf image problems. Exams. Self loathed. Hate myself. No interest in activities I like. I can't freaking concentrate! Old memories.. Wish I was that self back then times??
@calmbeach9177 - It sounds like you've got a lot going on and are really struggling to keep your head above water right now. Do you feel like you have people in your life you can talk to about how you're feeling? Would it help to talk to a counselor or therapist?
I know it's hard to let go of the self-loathing or to forgive yourself for the binges, but it's okay. That happens. The best you can do is understand why it happened, try to avoid it in the future, and then forgive yourself and move on. Dwelling on it won't change what happened, but you can learn and move forward. Take care
