Eating Disorder Community - How do you actually feel today?
Ah hello beings, I'm quite interested in this community to be honest, I'd like to get to know the lot of you if possible.
I feel as though I've brought about an eating disorder, specifically anorexia, I've become somewhat obsessed with the thought of being extremely skinny, and have only just recently begun starving myself for long periods of time. When I eat I feel disgusted, it could simply be a phase, but I'd like some sort of feedback concerning this.
Thank you.
@InnocenceKuchiki - I'm not a doctor, so I can't diagnose you officially, but whether or not you're at a full-blown eating disorder, you certainly have developed a dangerous relationship with food. And it sounds like it's really starting to interfere with other parts of your life, which is a good sign that it's time to reach out for help, and I'm glad you've started here.
If you want to talk in more detail, you can PM me at any time. It seems like you are at the beginning of this disorder, and I don't want to see you go further down this path. I can promise it isn't worth it. Take care and stay strong
I'd like to speak privately yes, I'm new to the sight so you will have to guide me and such, what is PM?
I'm always thinking about calories and food. I've been eating too much lately and I want to eat less, but I fear my parents are starting to get suspicious so I have to be careful. I just want to stop eating until I'm skinny but my parents would notice really quickly, and so would my friends. I'm too fat and I need to lose weight.
@Monarda - If you're concerned about people finding out, do you think it might be a sign that it's a dangerous path? I know how hard it is to combat those voices in your head that tell you you need to lose weight, but I also know that what can start as grasping control can spin really quickly away. I want you to know that you are cared for and that you deserve to be healthy and happy. If you ever want to talk, you can feel free to reach out to me or any other listener. Take care and stay safe.
I had a little slip up today. I've been really overwhelmed lately. I'm sad that I gave in. I had been doing really well.
Hopefully you don't beat yourself up over the slip up. We all slip up from time to time in something we have been working towards. Please focus on how far you have come so that the slip stays just a slip up and doesn't become a downward spiral :)
I take up way to much space. I hate myself so much. this disorder has taken over my life and I can't take it anymore.
@emilyrush15 - It hurts my heart to hear you say those things about yourself, but I can relate all too well to those feelings. What I will tell you is that when you can't love yourself, there are still people who love you and when you think you're taking up too much space, there are others who want you to fill the space in their hearts. Please continue to reach out and to talk about how you're feeling - it's brave and it's important. Take care and be safe.
I've been struggling with my weight and body image for a few years now. But just recently I've begun to count the calories I eat. Lately I'm never hungry and I just barely eat. I eat a bit at my meals but that's it cause I'm never hungry. And I have to force myself to eat then. This is really weird because I've always ate a lot and now I basically can't eat. Does anyone have any experience with this or know anything?
And also my mom has been starting to notice and get worried and I don't want her to be worried about me.
@decisiveVase00 - It sounds like there might be something else going on that's influencing this. Has anything else changed in your life such that stress might be causing you to lose your appetite? Or could it be some kind of illness? It might make sense to get it checked out, since it seems from your post like this is an appetite issue. It's good that you're making yourself eat at least a little at each meal despite not being hungry. If you want to talk at all about it, you can message me at any time. Take care.
I'm new here I've had anorexia and bulimia and it doesn't matter what weight you strive to get to it still doesn't make you happy no matter what all it does is make you depressed lonely and alienate all your friends it's not worth it I still battle it everyday and I want to get better and I'm getting help through doctors by I just ask all you girls this to love yourself and even as hard as it may be just love your body everybody has cellulite everybody has that its just a way of life and if someone's going to love you there going to love you for who you are not for what you look like
@kattkop888 I really needed that. Thank you so so much <3
Sometimes you feel like if your skinny life is gonna be great, its not. Its a downhill spiral and one that destroys your self esteem self worth and sef love. Remember that whoever you see on magazines, your favorite star all have been photoshpped and have bsd skin, dimples and have their own body issues. It's OK to wish, but its really all genetics, 90% of us don't have that supermodel gene. Your beautiful, look at your attributes and live yourself.
@kattkop888 - This is all so very true! I'm sorry that you're still battling this every day, but I am so proud of and impressed by you and your efforts to really fight back. Take care, and if you ever need some extra support, I'm here.
I just wish the thoughts would stop. It seems like no matter what they're always looming in the back of my mind.
@braveMelon7408 - the thoughts are the last thing to go, even after you heal. But before they are entirely gone, you can start to drown them out with more positive thoughts. One thing that helped me was to read affirmations and inspiring quotes every morning or whenever I was really struggling so that even if my brain kept screaming that I was fat or worthless, I had something else to cling to, too. My favorite list is here
I have a daily affirmations app on my phone that I haven't used lately. It's worth trying again. I just want some peace of mind
@anomalia The link with the quotes is just amazing! Thank you for sharing it
@braveMelon7408 - Glad you like it! It's the best one I've found, for sure.
Currently on 2 weeks at the moment. I've been trying yo keep track here and there and to not think about it. I've set a goal on my calendar to try and make it to 30 days. I have my days where I just want to give in, but yhe process is slow.
@decembernight0608 - It sounds like you're finding a way to strike a nice balance between keeping track so you can see your progress and not letting the exact number be a constant focus. And you're halfway to that goal, which is amazing! You've got this. Stay strong and stay focused. :)
My birthday was Monday and I feel like all I have done for the last several days is eat and so I feel disgusting. Why does everything have to revolve around food in our society? Friends want to take me out to dinner or the family wants to do dinner and have cake. Then there's the leftover cake- I want to enjoy it but then I get mad at myself afterwards and all I can think about is all the calories I just ate. It has been worse this year because I recently had to pretty much go cold turkey off narcotic pain meds (which I have been on for 8 years) and so because of that I have been terribly sick and lost a considerable amount of weight which has just brought Ed back to being right there at every meal.
@courage27 - I'm sorry it's been such a tough week - you're right that having so many celebrations and events revolve around food can make things MUCH harder than they should be. And I know it's hard to get past the guilt of eating that cake, but darn it, you deserve cake! It's your birthday and if the cake looks good, you should be able to eat it guilt-free! I hope that despite all of this, you were able to have a happy birthday. Take care and if you ever need to talk, or just to vent, you can PM me anytime.
For a class project I had to be in a video. I was okay with seeing myself in it for the most part but recently all I can think about it how much thinner I was before. I'm just so unhappy with my appearance.
@braveMelon7408 - I'm sorry it's been so tough for you lately, but you said that for at least part of it you were okay with how you looked on the video, and that's great! Unfortunately, body image is really hard to change and often one of the last things in recovery, but I know that you can get there. And in the meantime, one thing that really helped me was to change my focus away from appearance / thinness and onto function. What are things that your body can do now that it is stronger that you couldn't do before? A couple of mine are being able to life heavier things (including to play with my friends' children) and being able to go for long hikes without getting lightheaded and having to stop.
