Eating Disorder Community - How do you actually feel today?
Idkwat to do.., this place doesn't seem to have help/listeners.. worthless and incompetent.... hate this.
@Jaicee - I'm sorry that you've been feeling like there's no help or support for you here. If you do want to talk, you are more than welcome to message me. Take care
@Anomalia I tried messaging you but this thing is weird. Can you message me
@Jaicee - I actually can't - only members can initiate conversations, listeners can't message members first. Maybe try again later and see if it was just the website being funny?
I See no other way, than focusing on food and weight loss again.. I'm trying to recover all the time. Trying to get over it. And no one gets how much it hurts and how difficult it is.. So I always end up relapsing.. I'm alone. Ednos seems to be the only friend who sticks with me, no matter what
@ShallanXx - But does Ednos ever make things better? Or is it a false friend who lures you into one direction that ultimately just hurts more? I know it hurts so much and I know that recovery can feel hopeless or like just too much sometimes, but I also truly believe that even when recovery hurts, it's the only path away from that pain, while the ED just keeps it coming.
@Anomalia.. Yeah sometimes it hurts.. But i guess.. I deserve the pain.. I wasn't able to eat today.. But the worse thing is.. Its hard for me to drink too..it scares me.. I want my stomach to be empty. And idk how to handle this tomorrow. When I spent a day with my mom and she'll notice that I'm not eating...
Bingeing on raw cookie dough. 2 boxes already this week.
Controlling my calorie intake is the only way I feel in control, except I hate the fact I do it so I lose a bit more control. It makes me feel better though. I've told some friends but strategically picked the ones who are too far away to intervene. I just ended my relationship and feel like I'm stuck in a spiral downwards.
@bubbleAvocado7487 - I've been there! It's so easy to feel like you're taking control at first, but then you start to see how much you're losing that control and the eating disorder is in charge instead. But it is a spiral you can break. The first step is reaching out, which you've started to do. Do you think that you might want to try telling somoene a little closer to home so you can get support in recovering?
@Anomalia hi! I have made an appointment with my GP. I'm realising that I need help before I'm too far gone to notice. I don't want medication though.
@bubbleAvocado7487 - I'm really proud of you for making that appointment and reaching out for the help you need!
I have heartburn! 🙅😡😩😢😧😨😤
@alexaners7734 - *hugs* I'm sorry - that's an awful feeling, especially when you've made steps to eat and nourish your body!
Fucking horrible. She has her grasp right round my neck not letting go.
I H8 doughnuts!!!!
Constipated! Have had a 💩 stuck in my butt for 3 days!
today is the first day I have felt hungry in weeks and my friend decided to yell at me about how many calories I need to eat and now I'm not so hungry anymore
@Alexisbanda - *HUGS* I'm sorry that when you were finally feeling hungry and ready to eat you felt under pressure from your friend and it took that away. Perhaps doing something calming that can help you let go of her yelling could get you back to a place where you're ready to have something to eat? At the end of the day, eventually it's probably important to get to a healthy amount of total calories, but right now what's important is just having something. It's not about being perfect, it's about taking a step forward, no matter how small. <3
The doughnut is killing me!
Especially on top of all these Christmas parties!
@alexaners7734 - *hugs* - you can survive this - I know you can!