Introduce yourself to the 7 Cups Eating Disorder Community!
Hi, I'm Charlotte, i'm 15 and I am pretty fat, although my bestfriendoften tells me i'm not. Last year, i tried to lose weight for a vacation but couldnt so I decided to start restricting. That lead to purging too. I'm still fat and just can't seem to lose weight. All my friends started noticing and are trying to force me to eat. I exercise a lot and i'm a ballet dancer. I'd love to go into that professionally, but I can't be a fat ballet dancer.I also self harm and I think I have depression (thatswhat one of my friends with depression, whom i didntknow had depression, told me). I'm just a big walking fat mess haha. Noone really knows about anything though apart from one friend.
If you've ever read It's Kind Of A Funny Story then that's how you should think of me. I am the girl version of Craig Gilner. I cycle and I have too many tenticles to count. I am thinking of going into a psyciatricward but I don't think I have a good reason. I have a supportive family, great friends, I have a pretty good life, so I don't understand why I'm so fat and depressed. I dont really know.
I am a pretty good listener though so if anyone wants to talk, I'll be here to listen.
Hi @ItsKindOfAFunnyStoryEatingDisordersSelfHarmBiPolarSuicide - it sounds like you're juggling an awful lot right now and it might help to talk through some of it. Have you been able to talk to any of your friends or family about some of this?
You said that you have a pretty good life and don't have a good reason to feel this way - I'll tell you, a lot of people think that, but at the end of the day, your feelings are real and are important, regardless of your situation. You would say that because someone else has it better somewhere in the world, you shouldn't feel happy, so you equally shouldn't feel that you don't have the right to be sad when someone else has it worse. You deserve to be happy and to get the help you need to feel that way.
Hey Charlotte!
I'm a ballet dancer as well and I can understand the difficulty of the idea of wanting to be a pretty and thin ballet dancer. But the thing is, bigger dancers are just as beautiful because what matters in dance is that you're telling the story through the wonderful art of movement. I'm sure you are a wonderful person, don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
Take care,
Britt :)
I was a ballerina for 9 years. I wish that ballerinas could be healthy, robust, muscular, and athletic. I would much rather watch a powerful healthy dancer than a frail starving one. Unfortunately the huge ballet trend of a frail and thin body started my eating disorder several years ago. I was abused by my teachers. My private ballet teacher told me to go on a diet and lose weight several times. I was a healthy muscular woman. But then I stopped eating as much. One time I went to the hospital from my eating disorder and dehydration and they told me that I had the body and heart rate of an olympic athlete, but I needed to eat some potato chips. A doctor told me this lol! I remember trying out for Pacific Northwest Ballet and American Ballet Theater summer dance intensives. No one would accept me because my 5'9" 154 lb muscular frame was aparently "too heavy". I was at the top level at a great dance studio, dancing 2-4 hours every day, with private lessons from an incredible instructor and ex ballerina. It is just completely stupid. I had to quit two years ago from injuries, but I know incredible dancers who have curves and are in ballet companies. Curvy dancers are the best dancers!! I don't care what anyone says! It is sickening every time I see articles saying "ideal weight and height for a ballerina". I look up to dancers like Misty Copeland- first black soloist at American Ballet Theater and SOLID muscle. She really surpassed the whole skinny ballerina fad and turned it into being healthy, athletic, confident, and hard working. There is a place for everyone. I hope you have the most amazing success in your career as a professional ballerina. If you encounter abuse or people who don't appreciate your talent, LEAVE. You deserve better than that!!!
I meant leave and go somewhere better because there will always be somewhere better that you can thrive in, shine, and be you.
I had an eating disorder last year and have been recovered for almost a year as well, recently I have been having thoughts of relapsing :( I really don't want to.
@Madiix - I've been through a lot of stages of recovery and relapse, and the number one most important thing to preventing a relapse is exactly what you're doing right now - acknowledging that you're headed in that direction and reaching out for support to avoid it.
Do you feel like you can talk honestly with your family/friends/therapist/whoever about this and get their help in staying in recovery? Talking about this early and often will help a lot in the long run. Take care, and stay strong!
MY name is Amy and I believe I am a over eater.I have always been over wait and have always struggled with my weight.I was abused when I was younger and always told I was fat and was not allowed to have candy sodas and my mother would tell me I couldnt have things so when I would get a change I would eat whatever I could.I believe I am an emotional eater and the more I am stressed the more I eat
@amilam - first of all, welcome to 7 cups! I'm glad you've found our community and hope that you can get the support you're looking for here. :)
If you are an overeater or an emotional eater, you are certainly not alone. That's a really hard thing to deal with, but one that a lot of people go through. I think recognizing it and reaching out are huge steps to start healing. Have you talked to anyone in your life about it?
I'm also really sorry to hear about your abuse when you were younger - no one deserves that, and particularly as a child. I hope that you are in a safe space now and that you have had a chance to start healing from that.
If you need to chat, there are a lot of really fabulous listeners on here who would be happy to help support you or talk through anything you want to. Good luck!
Hi, I'm Klaudia, I'm 15 I was anorexic and now I'm bulimic in recovery. My ED started when I was like.. 12 years old. Now I have hard time because all my friends are talking about summer body and diets. I am afraid that I will make myself sick again. And I don't want to.. Why my friends can't understand that they are hurting me? I want to have skinny body too but I don't want to have ED anymore...
@Creimsindreamland - Hi Klaudia, it can definitely be really hard, especially in the summer, to hear people talking about dieting and bodies so much. Have you tried talking to them about how hard it is for you to hear? Sometimes people get so used to those conversation topics that they don't even think about the consequences, but if they're your friends, they might be willing to censor themselves a bit more. At any rate, I commend you for sticking with your recovery, even when it's hard. Keep up the great work!
Hello...i am 19 years old. I am fat...tgat's what people call me. I was always adviced to eat less, exercise a lot, to think of my figure and what not. Parents, relatives, neighbours, everyone one is behind me...like lise that weight!! This led to low confidence, self esteem issue, i was ashamed to fmdress the way i want or dance...or do anything. But things have changed. I have accepted myself. And i love myself for whatever i am, fat or flat!!
@happysoulalways96 - congratulations! It is so fantastic that you're learning to love yourself and be really happy. You are perfect the way you are and it can be so hard sometimes to get over all of our insecurities and self esteem to see that in ourselves, but I couldn't be happier for you! <3
There is someone here over 30??
Im 32 y/o, half my life fighting EDs, I have a hubby a Son, a home a good job... dunno whats wrong with me.
Not quite...I'm 27, but would be happy to chat if you think it would be helpful. I certainly know a bunch of people from old support groups that are in their 30s and struggling. You are not alone.
@anomalia Thank you so much. It was difficult but now i have accepted myself better... But my fight with world is still on. People can't stop, but even i won't stop being myself...no matter what! Thanks for the support.
Hello everyone!
People on here call me by the name of Britt, so y'all can use that name. I've struggled with my weight ever since I was about six or seven and I was fully aware that the way I looked wasn't "normal" let's just say.I was bullied all throughout elementary school and middle school because of my weight and by the time I was 13, I had developed anorexia. I don't want to go into too much detail but long story short, I'm still dealing with this eating disorder today, unfortunately. Luckily though, I have good role models to look up to. They're celebrities, so even though I cannot see/talk to them, they get me through the night. So, that's me!
-Britt
@brittsnowuh24 - I'm glad to hear that you have found some celebrities who help you through this and are inspirational for you. If you do want someone you can actually talk to, as well, there are a lot of great listeners on this site who are familiar with eating disorders and would understand some of what you're going through. Take care
Thank you! That's so nice of you <3
Hi I'm nineteen. I have had anorexia since I was 15 but it became a lot worse when I went to university in 2013 so I was pulled out at the end of the year. My friend blackmailed me until I gained the weight back and now I am huge and not able to do anything about it because of him so I have been re-diagnosed as 'in remission from atypical anorexia' even though I have never had a therapy session because they didn't believe I had anorexia because I gained weight.
@WonderlandAlice7 - I'm so sorry that someone wouldn't believe you about your anorexia because of your weight - unfortunately, a lot of doctors and therapists are still woefully underinformed about eating disorders and super unhelpful. That said, though, there are a lot of doctors and therapists who specifically specialize in eating disorders who will look past weight and actual understand what is going on behind that. It sounds like you could really use someone to talk to, so it might be worth looking into that. Depending on what country you are in, there are lots of resources to find a therapist who specializes in what you're looking for. Good luck!
Thank you hun, really appreciate itUnfortunately, I live somewhere really small so the mental health services are very limited. There are only three psychiatrists in my area and there is a minimum six month waiting list to change to another one so I'm kinda stuck with the one I've got. He's referred me to an ED nurse but I'm still waiting so yeah.
Hi I am Jenny and I have suffered with bulimia four years now and I finally decided to get help this year!
@joyfuljenny - that's fantastic! Congratulations on taking your first huge steps towards recovery - I promise it will be well worth it! :)
