Adopted Kid Problems
Hey everyone. I’m Willow and I’m 17 years old (18 very very soon). Me and my older sister (20) have always had a very strained relationship with our adopted parents due to their overbearing “Christian conservative values”. Me and my sister are pretty liberal when it comes to social issues such as abortion, the LGBTQIA+ community, religion, and other issues such as that while they are very homophobic, pro-life, and Christian supremacist. This especially irks me since I was born Jewish and I feel as though that was stolen from me. My sister also gets very upset because my parents are openly transphobic and she is engaged to a trans man.
As you can see there have really always been problems but it all got incredibly worse when we both accidentally found out that our parents had been lying to us for a decade. They have always said that they have nothing from our birth parents and we have always believed them because we saw no reason not to. We were looking for our old Pokémon cards when we came across a duffle bag full of letters, pictures, and other little trinkets from our birth parents.
I was hurt of course but my sister is taking this really really hard. We have not confronted them on all of this stuff but it just feels like the straw that breaks the back and I don’t know what to do. If I confront them then they will gaslight me and make me feel guilty for “sneaking around behind their backs” but if I don’t then I am bottling this all up. What should I do?
*if you read this far then I love you and here is a cookie 🍪*
@Willow4366
Hey Willow,
It sounds like there are several areas that communication and openness breaks down between you and your adoptive parents. I'm really sorry that is the case!
I can certainly understand how you would feel hurt and your sister upset by finding things that you were told didn't exist. This may be something that you and your sister decide on together about what to do. You and your sister know your adoptive parents, family history and the situation best.
If it may help, you can write everything that you would want to say to them in a safe space, then go back and make changes or edits until you have exactly how you feel and what you want to say in place. Having this may help them to understand how you are feeling.
However you choose to handle the situation, I send you support!
(and yes, I read the whole post.. thank you for the cookie 😊)
Take care until we talk again.
~Sher
