Advice on Mother
Self absorbed mother keeps making comments about me moving near her or with her. I also have gone no contact with my narcissistic sister, and she really wants me to reconcile things with her. I currently live far away from them, but have no desire to live so close to my mother especially since my sister lives with her. I’ve just been ignoring her comments or should I mention something about it?, and how? Also I’m not ready to reconcile things with my sister. She put me in a poor mental state, and although it’s been years since I talked to my sister. I have done self work, and maybe I can be up for the challenge to try to put my boundaries in place. Which I’m big on expressing myself and I know whatever I say or do is just a personal attack. :/ advice, and ideas are all welcome. Thank you!
It all depends on how your mom is personality wise. A narcacist is hard to deal with, you can't really reason with them. I felt better myself when I day my opinion. I would just say, at this time, you don't want to move closer.
BOUNDARIES! You have to care for your mental health first. You can’t be responsible for theirs. Your story is so similar to mine. I’ve stopped talking to my abusive mom for years at a time. I have so much resentment for so many things. She was living with my little sister, who I raised, after she killed her husband basically. (Allegedly). So I stopped talking to them both. August 22, 2019 my mom calls and tells me my sister didn’t wake up that morning. I rushed 2 hours away to hold her for 3 days on life support until she died. I never spoke to mom again.
july 27, 2020, mom stopped breathing and was rushed to the hospital. Guess who is the next of kin? Yep…
She has had cancer, a brain aneurysm burst, a stroke, and is dying from COPD. She now lives in my yard in her own trailer.
If I wrote a book about her, they would try to put it in the Fiction section. She’s a teenager in an elderly body. I’m 54 and still can’t do anything right. I’ve stopped answering my phone because she angers me so much with her busy body boredom madness that I just have to put up my boundaries. She will tell me “you’re gonna miss me when I’m gone.” Will I? Is that horrible? I’m sure I will. I’ll miss the very few good times. I feel sorry for her at times, but I don’t know how to even accept the fact of how I feel.
So no, don’t let yourself be caught in drama. But if you can work on them to convince them to respect the boundaries you set up, tell them what you will and won’t tolerate, maybe y’all can know each other once again? I think my mom will never respect mine. I’m not even in her will. I’m her only child now. And it says I get nothing. Not that I care, but that’s how she feels about me.
So sorry our stories are so similar. I’ll pray for you to be strong!