Bad parent relationship

I understand how hard all of this is for you. You want to be close to your mother but she doesn't allow it. Instead she continues to focus on her boyfriends over you. I understand how discouraging this is for you. I understand how this is upsetting you and how you are upset right now especially since your graduation is coming up. That's a very important part of your life. You worked really hard to get to this point and you want your mom to acknowledge you and to be there for you. That's why you do not want her boyfriend there, because you feel that if it is just you and her, that she will be there for you in the way that you would like. I understand how the uncertainty of how to deal with this situation gives you a lot of anxiety, especially since you have been through past trauma. You are to the point now where you feel that you need to make a decision as to whether you cut her out or keep trying. I encourage you to always keep trying in your life to follow your heart and to do what is best for you and to continue to be the loving person that you are. At the same time, it's important to recognize, that your mom will not change until she decides to. I understand how difficult it is for you because you want her to change, yet you realize that no matter how hard you try, that she won't change. I hope that someday that your mother realizes that she needs to be there for you and that she does change. In the meantime, I encourage you to continue to be the strong person that you are.